Okay. That's it. All elections canceled.

Tired of the bickering, the campaign ads. I hereby announce, by public consensus, that all elections are canceled.

Now, who among our SportsJournalists.com family is to be installed as benevolent dictator?

Interested parties, throw your hat into the ring and add your (non-political) candidate promises here:

Starting off...
I would like to be your benevolent dictator, beloved minions, and I promise that Peter King will be bound and gagged for a period of no less than 15 years, being fed only rice cakes and Slim-fast. Thank you for your consideration.

 

I am intrigued and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Also, would your platform have anything in it regarding the placement of Joe Buck in solitary confinement in a soundproof room?
Thanks, I'll hang up and listen.

 

My platform:
Baseball will have one daytime World Series game each year and during the regular season teams would be required to make up rainouts with single ticket double-headers.

The NBA will announce a five-man officiating crew before each playoff series and rotate through three at a time to promote more consistant officiating game to game. Also - no fireworks or streamers unless after a playoff series has been won.

NFL teams will be able to "hold" up to 30 players on full-time expanded 60-man roster (provided the players make at least the league average at their position) Also teams will be able to stash players on a 21 and 42-day Disabled list instead of losing players to Injured Reserve.

Instead of giving soldiers a shout out while they watch a game on a 16-inch screen with crappy reception - we find an entire company just back from the sandbox and let them have the league box.
Thank You for Your Support.

 

I'd like to throw my name into the mix as well.

All I can promise is Free Hats.

Yep. That and cupcakes.

 

Whoa. Canceling political ads? Who's going to buy ads from the paper, then?

 

This election cycle's been a boon for media sales.

 

I hate the crap that comes in the mail EVERY DAY. The sides don't tell what their guy is for, just what the other guy is against. We've got two guys squaring off in one race. Each side mails stuff that doesn't even mention their dude.

 

I'll nominate myself as benevolent dictator.

Salary Floor (and cap), bitches!

See? My ability to bring people together and to get along with everybody makes me the perfect candidate.

 

I'll throw my hat in the ring:

ESPN is only allowed to mention the words, "Brett Favre" on one day of the week unless he is playing.

All company CEOs are banned from collecting bonuses if they lay more than 100 people off in a year.

The WWE must allow blood in their shows, especially if it is a cage match.

I'm sure I'll think of more.

 

Ideally, Vince McMahon's.