OK, ladies, what's your frickin problem?

Guys hear the complaint all the time. It's as though women are bred to make it. It's the silliest damn thing I've ever heard and, yet, it bugs every last woman, girl and post-op transexual I know.

PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN.

You've all said it. You've all meant it. You've all apparently been unobservant enough to have felt the icy waters pucker up your taint. And you've all gotten mad at us for doing it.

Well, you know what, I have a complaint for you all.

FLUSH THE GODDAMN TOILET.

It seems like every girl I know, when she's had a few drinks and knows she won't be able to make it through one cycle of ESPN news without squatting at least twice, decides it's somehow OK to leave gobs of toilet paper floating around for the next visitor to stare at. If we're lucky, it's just white. If we're not, well, let's just say polar bear kills on the Discovery Channel are about the only thing that's red and white that I want to see.

Now, I know why this doesn't bother you girls. After all, you can barely be troubled look and see if the seat is down to avoid dipping your lovely bits in feces infested waters. But for us guys, we go in and have to look down and stare at whatever might be left behind.

Sure, it can provide a bit of diversion as we see if our piss stream is strong enough to completely disintegrate the offensive, urine-soaked clouds of cleanliness. But, really, we only do that to distract ourselves from wondering things like whether you at least wiped front to back. Frankly, it's disturbing to wonder about such things with your hog in hand and a pretty girl in the next room.

So I stand now before you, feet shoulder width apart, begging that we come to some kind of accord. We'll put the seat down. We will. I swear. But for god sakes, flush. Don't leave anything behind thinking we'll enjoy the target practice. We go outside for that. Hell, I've bull's eyed womp rats like I was in a T-16 before, but they seem much more sanitary than some of the stuff you all leave behind.

It is my dream that one day girls will be able to sit without looking and guys will be able to stand without looking at your sanitary goods.

:-X :-X :-X :-X :-X

 

Next time she does this, just leave a gift behind for her the next time you take a shit. Sinker or floater -- it doesn't matter, she'll get the point.

 

I'd like to show this to my roommate. Unfortunately, he's male.

 

That's disgusting. I always flush. Sometimes twice ... because sometimes you have to.

 

I flush, that is all.

 

Well, you need to hang with a better class of post-op transsexual then.

 

way to take a stand, pern.

 

"Don't take sh_t from nobody!"

-Billy Joel ... modernized by bigpern ...

(Well done! ;D)

 

solid as always, sam.

 

Toilet stories are always worth the time it takes to read them. And who doesn't enjoy a good game of target practice?

 

Especially if she's sleeping and its on her chest.

 

Back in high school, one of the hottest chicks in school was hanging out with us at a buddy's house. She goes into the bathroom and comes out, and we figure no big deal.
Then, a friend goes in and calls us all in there to discover a huge log.
We thought maybe it was some leftover from "the mother load."
Now, I just don't know.