Now that's a fire!

I can't believe we made it to page two before somebody wrote that.

 

1. What kind of car was it? (Altima, got it)

2. Beware the insurance company trying to screw you on the replacement value. The first number is always a lowball.

 

DAMN!!!

 

Every motherfucking year, OOP, you pull into my driveway and you burn the motherfucker down.

 

I expect to hear Aunt Bunny tumbling down the stairs any minute now.....and for at least a half hour.

 

Eddie woke up and he said "Uncle OOP is coming to get me."

 

I shuddered when I saw those pictures and recognized it as an Altima right away (an '01, I'm guessing?).

I recognized it because I drove a 2000 for five years. Traded it in last summer. I had a lot of problems with mine toward the end of its run, but nothing ever like that.

Glad you're OK.

 

Close. It was a 2000. I really hadn't had any many problems with it at all. At one point, we were both driving Altimas. My wife's was totaled by some idiot who rammed it while she was sitting at a light about four years ago.

 

Ha ha very funny motherfucker!

 

Your wife's a Bigfoot, isn't she, Gus? Your wife is a Bigfoot, isn't she? That's why the bitch's moustache is so motherfuckin' thick... 'cause you shaved the bitch down and taught her to speak. I know a motherfuckin' Bigfoot when I see one! Don't bring a Bigfoot into my home, Gus! With my children? The bitch can't talk! She can't walk a flight of steps! She's not trained well, Gus! She can *not* walk steps! I'll bet she climbs the fuck outta trees, though, don't she, Gus? Doesn't she? DOESN'T SHE? But you got to not bring her around here - fuck her!

And your motherfuckin' children? They're Bigfeet, too. They're half-Bigfoot, Gus, 'cause the motherfuckers is 6 years old and have Afros 17 inches long. They're little hairy motherfuckers, just like their mother. Look at the motherfuckers!

You know how I found out they was Bigfoot - when I realized your wife was a Bigfoot when I took your kids fishing last week. I put the motherfuckers in the boat, Gus, and I took the worm and I put it on the hooks. And they both sat there, and they put their poles down in the motherfuckin' boat, and slammed their faces in the water for 2 minutes! And I think, "What the fuck are these kids doin'?" Then they start moving their heads like this [quickly shakes head back and forth] and the motherfuckers come up with fish! I jumped back and said, "Can you believe this motherfuckin' shit?" Then the kid took the fish out his mouth and looked at his brother and said, "Goonie-Goo-Goo." What the fuck is going on here? Normal kids don't do shit like that, Gus.

But I'm gonna tell you something, motherfucker. You can take your motherfuckin' hairy fat-ass wife moustache bitch out the fuck, you can go upstairs and get the motherfuckin' dog and scoop up the shit and take Eddie and get these mothafuckin' long Angela Davis afro-wearin' motherfuckin' kids of yours and put them in the motherfucking "Goonie-Goo-Goo"-mobile and get the fuck out! And if my wife don't like that, she can get the fuck out, too!

[Eddie mimes his shoe-throwing noise]
You missed me, bitch!

 

There were more than a few highlights from the Baltimore outing a couple summers ago, but near the top of that list is BYH and myself going back and forth, reciting damn near the entire show at the dinner table. Needless to say, we got a our share of strange looks. Or maybe that was for the Softstra shirt BYH wore. Either way...

 

Man, I wish I had been there for that alone.