Now Junior can tap out to the Sandman

Bedtime not exciting enough? Good news! Now you can make your kids tap out to insomnia!
Introducing the MMA bed. For kids. It's got ring steps up to the bed and posts designed to look like three-quarters of the cage. Coming soon is the "L'il Lesnar Tattoo Kit".
Oh, and this thing is available in all sizes, including king, so if you want to impress the ladies you can bring them back to your place and see if they want to roll. So to speak.

http://www.wermma.com/kids-throwdown-cage-bed.html

The product description:

 

I would say you could guarantee sales in the low-three figures in my neck of the woods, but the people who would buy this bed are broke after saving up all their extra money for another Tapout T-shirt.

 

I'm not a MMA fan AT ALL, but, if I was a kid, I would love that bed.

 

No doubt. If that thing was around in the 80s, though, there are plenty of little brothers who would've been killed by their older siblings attempting the Macho Man elbow drop from the top of the cage.

 

And to think I was appalled when I saw Steve Austin shirts with Suck It! in big bold letters sold in the little kids section of a JC Penny.

 

Um, I doubt you saw a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt with the words "Suck It" on it. That is Degeneration X (Triple H and Shawn Michaels)'s catch phrase.

You may have seen a shirt that said "FOCK FEAR" though.

 

Any parent who would put a child in this bed should be charged with child endangerment and have the child removed to foster care.

How much dumber can out society get?

 

Do the sheets have fake blood-stains on them?

 

Don't ask, S-P. Just when you think it's as low as it can go, the shovels and backhoes will come out.

 

We know what Harley's next paycheck is going toward

 

Or, at the very least, little brothers with punctured lungs. After all, the Slim Jim man himself did that a time or two...

I will say, however, that this bed is a stupid fucking idea. It's even stupider due to the fact that it can be purchased in adult sizes as well.

 

A starter kit for the douche-let in training.