No Wonder I use Netflix

My favorite unused (I think) headline of all time: Pee Wee in Pokey for Pulling Pud Publicly

Until I get a giant screen TV, there are going to be what I call large-format subject matter movies that just demand to be seen on the theatre screen. Think Jurassic Park. I mean, who wants to see a T-Rex on a 32-inch TV? Anything else, though, I have to think long and hard about shelling out the money, particularly when I know in a couple months I'll be able to get it at Redbox for $1.

 

But then again, if you buy the popcorn you can cut the bottom of it out and give your girlfriend a surprise when she reaches in for some popcorn.

 

Go to a lot of movies with women just one time do ya?

 

No. I've never tried it. Something about scorching hot popcorn and scorching hot butter make it difficult for me to get the courage to go for it.

That and I don't want to ruin the $5 for the popcorn. I don't want to eat popcorn my dick's been in.

 

It also helps if you have your neighborhood version of "hustleman" that sells bootlegs -- so you can watch new movies at your home the day they hit theatres -- we have a good one in our neighborhood and since I am a loyal customer, I get five for $20.....

 

Yeah, but not just any hack can do that. It's actually an art form (/Seinfeld)

 

OK, that made me laugh. I have never had a sig, but that there might just do it.

Awesome.

 

Thanks, I try.

 

You didn't even mention the SALT.

OMG.

 

For the record: I will gladly pay the $11+ to see any film in IMAX format.

 

Polar Express . . . maybe not.

 

So the tricky part is finding a feature well-accompanied by champagne, but whose coming attractions lean to Michael Bay movies? Hmmm...