No advice necessary, but it's welcome

Re: No advice necessary

Just got another call from mom from the ward (apparently you get to have your cell during the day, but they take it at night and you don't get a charger ... so be wise with your limited battery).

She went in for a counseling session (different place than she had been going to), and they admitted her to the psyic ward. She says it's because of depression and she can't deal with the stress anymore. She also said she needed to get out of her sister's house and public housing is dragging their feet in getting a place ready for her and my brother. She says her sister's house is a nuthouse (like I said before, her sister is a single mother of four, ranging from 18 months to 9 years).

That last reason just pisses me off. My brother has never gotten along with those kids, so he's done things to avoid them (to the point that he immediately joined an after-school program as soon as they moved in with them so he's only in the house for an hour when they're awake.) Now our mom abandons him because she needs a vacation from it. Absolute horse shit.

 

Re: No advice necessary

Wow. That is awful. She actually said one reason she had herself admitted to a psych ward is to get out of her sister's house?

 

Re: No advice necessary

it was said like this ... "Stress and depression. Plus I really needed to get out of (name's) house. I was going crazy in that nut house."

 

Re: No advice necessary

AFN, I'm glad your brother is being guided in the right direction by you. Seems like some other adults in his life are letting him down, and you're doing the adult thing by providing him some much-needed guidance.

 

Re: No advice necessary

I'm not going to lie ... I don't think I've been there as much as I should have/could have, but he doesn't keep his cell phone on nor with him very often for some reason.

 

Re: No advice necessary

You have done more than you should have to do already. And you're being there for him is a great thing. Don't beat yourself up over it too much; you are doing what you can.

 

Re: No advice necessary

Exactly. He's a young kid in a rough situation. He might make it very hard to help him. All you can do is keep trying and make sure he knows you're there for him.

 

Re: No advice necessary

afn, keep your head up. You obviously care deeply for your brother and his well-being. Like outofplace wrote, just keep trying and make sure your brother knows you are there for him.

As hard as this is for you to deal with, he's at an age when probably everything is difficult to deal with. The more time you spend with him, or talking to him, the better. He needs it.

 

Re: No advice necessary

Coming from a divorced family myself, I agree with buck.

If you're miserable and you're together, you'll do worse for your kid staying together than you would if you got a divorce.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell my parents to get a divorce the FIRST time they separated.

 

Re: No advice necessary

AFN, I only know what I would do and that's go get my brother right away and move him in with me. Enroll him in school and establish some camraderie and consistency. Your parents can't or won't look out for him. Somebody needs to do something. Like I said, if it were me ...

 

UPDATE, And this time it's comical ... all I can do is laugh:

My aunt, whom my mother moved in with, moved out to move in with her boyfriend a few weeks ago. That left my mom without a place, so she stayed with my grandmother for a while and now my mom is staying with family friends in a nearby town.

My mom was supposed to get an apartment this week, but it got pushed back to next week.

Last weekend, my mom informed my aunt and grandmother that she (my mom) wouldn't be attending Christmas with them because my dad was coming up and she (my mom) was spending Christmas with him. Nevermind dad said a few months ago that they weren't getting back together ... I dunno. My opinion doesn't matter with that situation.
It really upset my aunt and grandmother, who are of the opinion that they're the ones helping her get back on her feet, but my mom is ignoring them on the holidays. I tend to agree with them, but what do I know.

I'm planning on going to my aunt's for Christmas on Christmas Eve. When my mom found this out, she said she'd try to get over to my aunt's that day. So I called my mom tonight to confirm that I was coming on Christmas Eve (I'm working Christmas Day ... the schedule was posted today) and my mom drops this bombshell: "By the way, you do know that (aunt) is in jail, right?"

I guess she missed a court-order appearance for failing to pay some bill. Now she has to post $500 bond but doesn't have it. Meanwhile, her second oldest (7 or 8 years old) is in the hospital -- second time in a few months -- for holding his little sister by the throat against a wall and threatening to choke his big brother to death. Hospital says they can't do much though, until he does something like it at school.

So, my aunt, a single-mother of four is in jail. Her son is in the hospital with severe anger issues. My mom is spending Christmas with my dad, who thinks its cute to secretly tape his wife's friend in the shower. My grandmother thinks she needs to write a book. And my bother is, surprisingly, still sane despite the clusterfuck surrounding him.

Who's gonna have a better Christmas than me?

Seriously, all I can do is laugh about it now.

 

Wow, man. You're a tough nut, that's for sure.

Also, I agree with the poster above who suggested you take in your younger brother if you can swing it.

Hang in there, bro.