NIAFL Press Conference

Thank you all for coming. As you can see from the release, and the removal of one urinal from the NIAFL locker room, we have invited Lugnuts to join the NIAFL for the 2006 season.

Assuming she passes her intense physical, has none of Floyd Landis' testosterone floating around her, and learns to spell "I love the Yankees" backwarks and/or can spell "I love the smell of Derek Jeter's taint in the morning," she will be with the other 7 proud franchises and the 4 other not-so-proud ones for our draft later this month.

With that, I will take any questions you may have about the selection process.

 

Why the fuck didn't the Pope win?

 

It came to our attention that you're not really Catholic, and/or that you masturbate excessively, and/or have had fantasies about nuns.

 

And the problem is..........

 

Mr. E. Meat, Newsly News: Why come you can do three threads on the fantasy football league opening but all baseball talk has to be confined to one thread? Thanks, I'll hang up and listen.

 

Why isn't the goddamned NASCAR race in today's paper?

 

MR. ROSENHAUS: Next question.

 

It is our intention to do at least three more threads on the fantasy football league opening before the night is through. Hopefully, by night's end, we can catch the amount of space devoted to Box lacrosse and other nonsense.

 

Because.

 

2muchcoffeeman, The Daily Planet: What factors led to choosing Luggie over Bubbler, The Big Ragu, IJAG, Carrie and some of the others (other than two days' worth of pointless arguments, of course)?

 

What faults did you find with Oz as a candidate?