NFL Predictions - 2011

Unless the Bears start out 0-8, there's no chance he gets fired. He'll coach out the string because ownership isn't going to make a change midseason. The house will be cleaned in January and a new group of fuck-ups-who-come-relatively-cheap will take over.

 

The Bears won't start 0-8. They get to play the Lions twice, after all.

 

I don't think the Lions will win the opener, but if they can start putting some of their talent together, that second game might not be much fun. Of course, the Bears are the last team to lose to the Lions twice in one season.

 

The Bears are going to suck on ice, and the Lions will beat them twice.

There's a reason Drama Queen Martz and Meatbrain Moronelli went 0-16 the last time they teamed up to run a pro football franchise.

AFC EAST:
1.Patriots 11-5
2.Jets 9-7
3.Dolphins 7-9
4.Bills 6-10

AFC NORTH
1.Bengals 10-6
2.Ravens 10-6
3.Steelers 9-7
4.Browns 4-12

AFC SOUTH
1.Colts 11-5
2.Titans 9-7
3.Texans 8-8
4.Jaguars 5-11

AFC WEST
1.Chargers 13-3
2.Broncos 9-7
3.Raiders 6-10
4.Chiefs 6-10

NFC EAST
1.Cowboys 9-7
2.Giants 8-8
3.Eagles 6-10
4.Redskins 6-10

NFC NORTH
1. Packers 13-3
2. Vikings 10-6
3. Lions 6-10
4. Bears 3-13

NFC SOUTH
1.Saints 12-4
2.Falcons 10-6
3.Panthers 7-9
4.Buccaneers 4-12

NFC WEST
1.Cardinals 10-6
2.49ers 8-8
3.Seahawks 6-10
4.Rams 5-11

(no, I didn't have time to add up the wins and losses, so if they don't balance, tough crap)

NFC North champion: Packers
NFC West champion: Cardinals
NFC East champion: Cowboys
NFC South champion: Saints
Wild Card: Vikings
Wild Card: Falcons

AFC North champion: Ravens
AFC West champion: Chargers
AFC East champion: Patriots
AFC South champion: Colts
Wild Card: Bengals
Wild Card: Titans

NFC Champion: Packers
AFC Champion: Patriots
Super Bowl Champion: New England

MVP: P. Manning
Defensive player of the year: Willis
Rookie of the Year: Suh
Coach of the Year: McCarthy
First coach fired: Lovie Smith, with Martz holding the bloody dagger

 

NFC North champion: Packers
NFC West champion: Cardinals
NFC East champion: Giants
NFC South champion: Falcons
Wild Card: Vikings
Wild Card: Cowboys

AFC North champion: Ravens
AFC West champion: Chargers
AFC East champion: Patriots
AFC South champion: Colts
Wild Card: Titans
Wild Card: Steelers

NFC Champion: Giants
AFC Champion: Ravens
Super Bowl Champion: Giants

MVP: Peyton Manning, Indianapolis
Defensive player of the year: Jared Allen, Minnesota
Rookie of the Year: Eric Berry, Chiefs
Coach of the Year: Tom Coughlin, Giants
First coach fired: Tom Cable, Raiders

Other: Tony Romo and Drew Brees will miss significant portions of the year with major injuries, reducing the Cowboys and Saints from Super Bowl contenders to scrapping for a wild card.

Jets coach Rex "Idiot" Ryan will drop an F-bomb in a live television interview with a female reporter and be fined $100,000 by the commissioner.

 

Here's the shell...

NFC North champion: Packers
NFC West champion: Niners, by default
NFC East champion: Cowboys, by default
NFC South champion: Saints
Wild Card: Vikings
Wild Card: Eagles

AFC North champion: Ravens
AFC West champion: Chargers
AFC East champion: Jets
AFC South champion: Colts
Wild Card: Patriots
Wild Card: Bengals

NFC Champion: Packers
AFC Champion: Ravens
Super Bowl Champion: Packers

MVP: Aaron Rodgers
Defensive player of the year: Patrick Willis
Rookie of the Year: Ryan Mathews
Coach of the Year: Mike Singletary
First coach fired: Tom Cable

 

Surprised to see any love for the Cardinals considering the QB situation. Any time Derek Anderson is a possibility to start at QB for you, well, there's trouble. LOTS of trouble.

 

Fuck. I hadn't even thought about their last collaboration. I'm sure Lovie will make a huge difference, though. Good God.

 

The NFC West is so awful eight wins might take the division.

 

I'm still floored at SI's prediction that the Steelers will win the Super Bowl. I know we have a lot of Steeler fans on this board, but that seems like one of the most absurd preseason predictions I've ever heard.

 

Considering who the prediction came from, not so much.