New study: Men who stare at breasts live longer

Covered if DR checks the " allow generic" box on prescription

 

I can't keep up with all the health care changes.

 

If only this story came out before Thanksgiving Tiger might have had a better excuse.

 

Has this year's Nobel Prize for medicine been awarded yet? Just askin.

 

I'm just trying to mull over how the original pitch for this research went--probably something along the lines of:

'See, I think we can prove a direct correlation between male life span and visual funbag fixation.
This groundbreaking hypothesis, if proved true, could have significant and material ramifications to the average life expectancy of the male of the human species for centuries to come.

Now, in order to prove or disprove this theorem, it's going to require extensive research and study. And, as you know, this kind of thing hardly lends itself to the normal, staid laboratory or classroom environs.

No, this study will require extensive time and effort spent in a variety of strip clubs, burlesque shows and other adult entertainment establishments.

Additionally, I will require subscriptions to the following periodicals as study reference materials: Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Club, Swank, Oui and of course Bigguns.

I also think it would be advisable to hire a local call girl as part of the research team to conduct more regular personal experiments. Call Red Hot Escorts and ask for Candy--I think she'd be interested.

Finally, I'm going to need a substantial supply of 1, 5 and 10 dollar bills. Along with a credit card. AMEX Gold would be tolerable, but AMEX Black preferred.

I'd like to think the entire study can be completed over a 12-18 month period. At the conclusion of this project, I have some thoughts about a study on binge drinking and short term effects on the liver and kidneys.

 

What are we supposed to stare at to live longer?

 

"Baby's got hair all over her belly...and her bew-bies."

 

The oven.

 

Moobs. Duh

 

Maybe he meant the spelling/structural issues.

 

I was going for "I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER!" but couldn't find a better still.

 

You can look at bewbs too. It's cool.