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Need some advice on long distance relationships

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by KYSportsWriter, Dec 27, 2006.

  1. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    I recently met a girl and am starting to fall hard for her. The only thing is she lives six hours away from me in Michigan. I've been in long distance relationships before, but never have I dated someone who lived so far away from me.

    For those of you in relationships like this, how do you deal with the distance? How often do you get to see your significant other?

    I think I'm falling in love with this girl and I just hate being so far away from her. We talk on the phone every night and I learn new and great and exciting things about her everyday.

    And please, I only want serious comments on this. If you have something stupid to say, send it to me in a PM...or something.
  2. three_bags_full

    three_bags_full Well-Known Member

    There's a job open in Ann Arbor.

    Seriously, if you love her ... and you're sure she feels the same way ... there are only two answers: 1.) bring her to Kentucky or 2.) head to Michigan.
  3. shockey

    shockey Active Member

    visit as often as you can. if you finally agree that you're both in love, somebody has to make a move so you can be together.

    i was in the same situation with a woman who lived 3,000 miles away. fell head over heels. after seven months, she was brave enough to commit to moving to be with me.

    now that's a loving commitment. telephone calls are only enough for so long. if it's true love, you can make it work.
  4. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    I wish I could bring her here, but....

    She is a paraplegic who had stem cell surgery performed last year and she's at the best rehab facility in the nation in Detroit. Moving her down here wouldn't do any good for her because she's already gained so much from the surgery and therapy.

    And yeah, I'm sure we feel the same way about each other. And we have talked about me either moving there or her moving here, which wouldn't be good for her for reasons listed above.

    And shockey, I plan on visiting as much as I can. I'm wanting to go up there for Valentine's Day just to surprise her, but I don't know how feasible that is right now. I might not be able to do it for financial reasons.

    All I know is I've fallen head over heels for her and want to be with her any way possible.
  5. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    Get on one of those "free calls to your five favorite people" plans or your phone bills are going to suck.
  6. melock

    melock Well-Known Member

    Be absolutely sure you know what you want when deciding whether to move or ask her to move. I had a buddy give up a decent paying job to be with a woman he met right before he left for the place we worked together. They got engaged, he moved back to live with her and several of her children and they were broken up two months later. Moral of the story is don't make a move without being 100 percent sure. Good luck to you sir!
  7. Overrated

    Overrated Guest

    Man KY, this couldn't hit any closer to home for me.

    I met a girl - also in Michigan - right before I took a job more than 1,000 miles away.

    We talked for a month and went out a few times before the job came up. I left, but she said she didn't want to stop dating and I agreed because she seemed special.

    Three months later, we talk on the phone every night, send text messages all day and she comes down every few weeks.

    I'm not sure what advice to give to give, I just wanted to say you have a friend in the same boat.

    It sounds like you care about the woman the same way I do...I've never said "I love you" to anyone I was dating, but I can say I've never cared this much about anyone.

    Maybe it's better this way for the time being because it forces both parties to focus on mental attraction instead of just physical. I'm guessing it'll lead to a truer romance.

    At any rate, best of luck. And, don't give up just because it's far.
  8. Pancamo

    Pancamo Active Member

    How long have you known her? The distance might be creating an utopia that isn't really there. Don't rush into anything.
  9. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

    How did I handle it? By breaking up and finding someone closer.

    Sorry to rain on some parades. I've done it way more often than I'd prefer, often enough to, you would assume, have learned my lesson. It's too damn difficult to maintain. They just rarely ever work. And the costs can quickly add up.

    *preparing for the outpouring of condemnation I'm about to get, especially from my good buddies 21 and Boomer*
  10. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    We met a week ago today, actually.
  11. Trouser_Buddah

    Trouser_Buddah Active Member

    You met a week ago today and you have both started talking about moving? Wow. Please take your time and make sure this is right...otherwise you could be making a terrible mistake that could take you years to recover from...

    Good luck.
  12. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    Ditto. If she's the one, she'll still be the one in six months, a year, five years.
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