Need some advice from dads out there

go to a restaurant that doesn't have plastic furniture.

do it now.

 

This is one of the reasons I'm not at a daily - I just want to be home more with my daughter and not working 80 hour weeks ... She's almost three now, and I can tell you - it is tough stuff when dad walks out the door to go to work, and she is pleading for me to stay and play with her.

It kills me and makes me wonder if there is something in this biz that's more 9-5 ... I guess we have to lower some of our expectations at our jobs and not feel bad about it when we blow off a big game to be at home. It's tough, though, because you know you're going to hear about it from someone...

 

Don't be afraid to lean on family for help.
After our first was born, I asked my folks if one of them could come out and visit shortly after and my Mom ended up making the cross-country trek two weeks after the birth. I had two weeks of sick time and my mom ended up staying for 10 days and that was a huge help for us as I went back to work.
But to echo the previous thoughts here -- take all the time you can. This is your child. Fuck your job.

 

two weeks was just fine with mrs. petty. she got better, baby was less fragile, and she was ready for me to get the hell out of dodge.

 

Devote the first month to nothing but your wife and new child.

Then starting coming up with reasons to need to stay at the office. It's the only place you'll get any peace and quiet.

 

To get your baby sleeping through the night, this is the tried-and-true method given to my wife and me from a friend, then from our pediatrician: Once your baby is 2 months old, put him down at 8 p.m. for the night, and make this a firm routine. It'll be tough the first days/week as the baby cries and cries - but that's a good thing. The baby is learning to cry himself to sleep. It's a natural process. Crying drowns out other sounds and is a way the baby expends energy to tire herself.

First night we did this, our little one went 4 1/2 hours before a feeding, and after a few weeks, was sleeping from about 8 p.m. until 5-5:30 a.m., soon without any midnight feedings. The baby learns to eliminate feedings in between - especially if you give a nice size bottle just before bedtime. Our little one was a great sleeper by 2 1/2 months as a result, and our pediatrician and our friend are well known for having kids who were great sleepers as babies as a result.

PS - take at least 2 weeks off to be home after the birth. I took one week of vacation and one week of Family Medical Leave Act. Prepared for the unpaid week by saving up about 60 percent of that paycheck in the months leading up to it. Was able to save my remaining vacation time for xmas/turkey day holidays to trot the newborn out for family.

 

Good advice Tom. I saved up most of my vacation days for our newborn. Our company also lets you carry over sick days for a year to use fr family siutations such as this.

Of course, the little bugger came last Wednesday, FIVE WEEKS EARLY!!! That kind of threw all my plans into a state of oh shit!

My wife's water broke as I was driving home from work at 11:30 p.m. Needless to say, I played NASCAR driver back to the house. I just had a feeling her water would break while I was at a game.

But I"m also trying to figure out a good balance between good father and good employee. I've already done my share of feeding and changing of the diapers, so Mrs. Slydell can;t complain there.

 

Almost overnight, some of the things that stress you out on a daily basis about your job will seem almost insignificant...

Enjoy parenthood, it's the best thing in the world...

 

Good advice here.

Be the diaper-changer, whenever possible. It's a snap and after a day or two you're imune to the smell (mostly).

Cook whatever meals you can for the two of you. Your wife will already be providing dinner for the youngun.

Get home as soon as you can from work. It sucks for your social life, but so be it. She'll need a break, believe me. Work is secondary, to an extent, in the first 2-3 months. Any boss who doesn't understand that, and give you some leeway, is an asshole and not worthy of your respect (trust me on that one).

I basically quit drinking for a year. Nothing worse than a crying child and a hangover.

If your in-laws or family offer to help, accept it gratefully.

Get your child in a consistent routine ASAP. Most kids thrive on consistency.

Get your sleep, whenever possible. And more importantly, let your wife get hers.

And letting your child cry itself to sleep is very hard, but you have to do it. Should be sleeping through the night at 3-4 months.

We took our kid everywhere possible. Saw his first college basketball game at 6 weeks, a baseball game at three months, etc. Usually the noise helped him sleep. We also drove around Microville a lot at night during the colic stage. He slept, we had some quiet time to catch up on our other lives.

Good luck. Some days you'll think your child can't grow up fast enough, then someday you'll wonder how it all happened so fast.

 

Tell your wife not to breast feed... The baby will sleep more and crap less...

This is the best advice we ever got when my wife became pregnant. It also takes the pressure off your wife since you can feed the baby too..

 

Yeah, screw doctor's advice. Do what makes it easier for you. Follow this pattern for the next 18 years.

 

Our doctor recommended it, and my wife is a doctor so she's seen the literature... Formula is about 100X better than it was when we were growing up...