Need opinions of parents.....

Part of growing up is understanding ramifications.

He sits.
Team loses.
Teammates and coaches are pissed off.
His fucking fault.

Next time he studies.

 

You only cover us when our star is flunking Social Studies.

 

The team is only 11-34 WITH him! (JK)

There might be some nuggets of good advice, but you really ought to do what you feel is appropriate.

 

No I talked to the coaches first to sort of gauge what they thought about this weekend and I got this rah rah crap -- can I rant for a second about how over this whole youth sports shit I am right now. I mean, this tournament has something to do with seeding for the state cup in the spring and because this team didn't play enough games against strong teams or some shit they need a good showing in this tournament or they get moved to a lower bracket in the spring. -- about the team.

So I have been thinking about what to do and have about an hour before he gets home from school.

YankeeFan - I have made it clear to all of them that if they fuck up in school they will lose an activity or something else.

My wife made a good suggestion - she said take his cell phone away for a month, or until the end of the report period but I have done that once before in the spring and look where we are now.

I'm thankful for your advice on this because it lets me know that not all parents are delusional and crazy about this sports shit and that some people with kids do still have perspective.

I'm thinking more than a few of the parents will forgive me but the more I think about this, I need to nip this shit now and keep him home this weekend.

In addition, I also will impose what I call "in-home study hall" -- which means, every day until the end of the report period he is forced to sit and do homework or study or read a book - no tv, no phone, no video games. And the hour is on my time, not his so I decide when it starts and ends.

I've done this before when the attitude has kicked up and it is amazing how quickly they respond by bringing up their grades when they look out the window and see their buddies riding bikes up and down the street or their friends next door playing hoops in the drive way.

I think the saddest thing about all of this is when I called the teacher to talk to him about this - he actually thanked me for taking this matter seriously and for not blaming him. How sick is that - he said a lot of parents, when they call about a note like that, blame the school, blame the teacher, some have made veiled threats about law suits - he told me it was refreshing to hear a parent say "my son is being a lazy ass and I will deal with it immediately...."

How fucking sad is that? I know we bang on teachers a lot but man that has to be a very difficult and depressing job these days.

 

To echo the opinion of the other parents here -- fuck the team. Ground him.
He has to learn that schoolwork comes first. He needs to know that part of his responsibility to his team is a responsibility to himself to do the homework.

Let him know that unless he maintains a certain GPA in high school he will be ineligible to play scholastic sports and that you'll enforce the same rules if he opts for club sports over scholastic teams.

So what if the coach and other parents are pissed at you. He's the leading scorer, what's the coach going to do -- start treating his star player badly because he's pissed at the player's dad? I think not. The other parents will get over it. Remind them it's only a game and at this age it should still be about fun, not about trophies, and that since they're just starting high school, no college scholarships or opportunities to be seen by a college scout are at stake either.

 

How many of us sportswriters (or, in my case, former sportswriter) have seen star players get special treatment because of their athletic abilities? How many of us have had to deal with these prima donnas as adults?

Where do you think it starts?

Just food for thought...

 

I woulnd't keep him out of the tourney, even if he was more of a bench player.
He has a responsibility to the group - and that's a good lesson to learn as well.

However, he only plays in the games - he doesn't hang with the guys etc. between games
Make him do homework or study -

he loses the social aspect, but he plays in the game

and of course, any other punishment you see fit

 

BINGO!!

Lay down the law now. I say don't let him play, but make him go sit on the bench for the tourney, or be a sideline runner for balls that go out of bounds. Make him hate that feeling of sitting there and not participating knowing that it was solely his fault for him being in jeans and a jacket instead of playing. I don't see enough tough love from parents anymore becUse they're so afraid of hurting someones feelings. Fuck em all. Youre the parent of your children. Only you and your wife make decisions about what is best for your children. And it's clear that you believe what is best for your son is to make him sit. So do it. He's going to be pissed at you now, but he'll love you for it later, just like I feel about my dad.

 

I'm not a parent. So you can ignore this since it's not what you were seeking.

I once was a high school kid with potential who didn't really give a damn, though, so I can offer some sort of perspective.

I say do whatever it takes to get through to him how important schooling is. He'll appreciate it one day.

With that said, I agree with what EE94 said.

 

Give him a choice...

He needs to do half of the assignments tonight correctly in order to play in tommorrow's game.

The second the game is over, he finishes the second half of the assignments.

Make it his choice to pull the all-nighter doing the assignments if he is that screwed. If he chooses not to do the assignments, then you have no problems sitting him out.

 

Or you could pull him for lying to you.

Nothing wrong with that either.

I have a feeling your kid is so damn smart that this class bores him so he is acting out and showing his rooster feathers.