Nationals = 600 pounder at 4 a.m.

That's awesome.

 

That's gotta be the marketing slogan in their next season ticket push, doesn't it?

"It's 4 a.m. You're alone. Two of the other good-looking teams have already left. But we're here. We'll keep you company on those long summer nights, big boy. We're the Nationals. We play baseball."
And, of course, the text is accompanied by pictures of Wily Mo Pena and Adam Dunn.

 

I tried in vain to find the video of Manny stroking Tavarez's head from a few years back. Seems the assholes at MLB won't allow anyone to host it.

 

Now wait one damn second ... Moddy is only 35?

 

Funny comments, but I'm not sure how much the Nationals' brass is going to appreciate those comments.

Nonetheless, he'll be one and done this year.

 

Julian Tavarez (below) with the Washington Nationals at 4 a.m. after clubbing and too much drinking by Tavarez:

 

Why 600? That's the part that bugs me most.

 

More cushion for the pushin'.

 

And because his face looks like a used napkin.

 

His pitching arm is probably just as effective as a snot-infested Kleenex.

 

Solid.

 

So, would that make the Marlins someone with herpes?

F_t: It's Tavarez, with a Z.