My next-door neighbors' son is full of fail

When my Dad was 8 and living in the inner city, a kid who was about 13 took his bike temporarily three days in a row.

The third day, he punched my Dad and knocked him off the bike.

Dad went home, crying.

His father asked him what was wrong.

Dad told him the story.

My grandfather, not exactly the soul of compassion said, "If he beats you up again tomorrow, you better not come home, because I'll beat your ass worse than he ever could."

The next day, Dad's riding his bike to the game when the kid confronts him again on the street.

This time, Dad never slows the bike. He rides by and hits him as hard as he can in the mouth with his baseball bat. The kids loses several teeth.

An hour or so later, the kid and his father show up at my grandfather's house in a state of high dudgeon. The dad is outraged and starts yelling at my grandfather.

My grandfather grabs Dad, who at this point is scared shitless.

"Did you hit him in the mouth with a baseball bat?" my grandfather asks.

"Uh, yeah."

"Go get the bat."

Reluctantly, my Dad brings him the bat.

My grandfather holds it up and studies it.

"Is this the bat you hit him in the mouth with?"

"Uh, yeah."

Whereupon my grandfather looks at him and says, "Good job."

Then he turns to the other father and says, "You've got 10 seconds to get out of my living room or I'll knock every one of your fucking teeth out, too."

There were no more problems with the bullying 13-year-old. Not ever again.

 

Awesome.

 

For some reason, I heard Mellencamp's "Pink Houses" in the background as I got to the end.

 

Good grief. Sorry about your son, Jack. But the whole idea about bringing in the lawyers is stupid. They're only little kids. Just use the little bed-wetter as motivation for your kid as you train him to become a lethal MMA fighter/linebacker for State U.

 

It's simple. He breaks your son's wrist, you break his wrist. He sends one of your sons to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way.

 

Thanks. But let the record show that I never mentioned lawyers at all. Motivation for my little badass to be a LB -- now that I'm all for!

 

Perhaps if the parents hadn't named the lad Shit-for-brains he wouldn't act out so much. Just a thought.

Seriously, sounds like the kid is a jerk best avoided more so than a bully. A bully wouldn't play jump of the wall with someone. He'd start with the push.

 

Valid point. And trust me, I'm not thrilled with my very intelligent son for not listening to the fact that we've told him 10 times not to jump off the wall, but part of the thing about Shit-for-brains is that he's an instigator and has that knack for dragging other kids (mine and others) into shenanigans with him.

 

I'm sorry, but Shit for Brains is shit for brains because of his parents. The kid is 4. He's only that way because his parents aren't much for discipline. I wouldn't blame the kid, though I wouldn't let my kid play with him.

 

Outing alert.

 

Besides lawsuit,organize all the parents in the area so no one plays with this boy. It will leave him marginalized with no friends for the rest of his living days on earth. It sounds like he might have ADHD. Suggest that to his parenst and demand they medicate the child as part of lawsuit.

 

Two things about this thread: I still love the use of upper decker as a verb (mentioned that on a previous thread months ago; I'd always heard "give him the upper decker" as opposed to "upper-deck him"), and the story about the baseball bat to the face is spectacular.