"My Little Pony" backpack = "trigger" for bullying

I disagree, those I cited could change the situation, just hide and keep the status quo. That's what I'm pointing out, you're telling the kid here to "don't make waves" keep the status quo. I believe we as a society should strive for more than status quo, even here.

Have I sent my kid out? As I said, I actually did tell him to do something different; yeah for pragmatic reasons but I am not happy that I did so.

 

The thing is, when you use "usually," "entirely possible," AND "smart money" on consecutive posts, you ARE really making assumptions based on no real evidence.

 

But those words imply that it's just my read of the situation. It's stated as an assumption.

Anyway, I'd bet good money that the mom's version of events is quite a good distance from how most people would see it.

To put this in sports terms -- when any of us gets an email saying we should do a story on the local high school unfairly favoring the starting quarterback over the backup, we laugh it off as a crazy parent and we wouldn't dream of dignifying it with a story. Based on my experience, a mom who would run to a TV station about something like this is exactly that kind of crazy parent.

But the word "bullying" just works everyone into a lather. It's like "terrorism" or "concussion."

 

I agree with you 100 percent. In fact, that was my only pause when the anti-bullying wave got started a few years back because where do we stop? I've made fun of friends, I've made fun on non-friends but I always stopped when they began to get upset.

My bully, on the other hand, stopped at nothing, including breaking into my house and breaking all my Christmas presents on December 26 as well as attempted sexual assault - using a firearm, no less.


The one kid I "bullied," it was because he legitimately deserved it. By deserve, I mean standing outside my window, screaming profanities at me and throwing rock at me and my house. When one finally hit me, his mother was told (after she had repeatedly told us to tell her instead of hitting him back), she responded with "Tough shit, DeskMonkey shouldn't call him names" I finally unloaded on him the next day waiting for the school bus. God, that still feels good.

 

The thing is, in a lot of these cases, "bullying" is a bit too all-encompassing and is becoming another code word for "the coach hates my kid" or "my kid should be getting more PT." Kind of like that story in Texas where one parent though one team boatracing his/her spawn's team was bullying. Is there any way of narrowing the definition, or is it going to take a different form every time?

 

You are doing what you always do when somebody points out the flaws in your arguments. Attacking the poster.

You are assuming the worst of the mother because you don't like that she took it public. That's it. And to serve that notion, you are assuming the story is incorrect, she and her child are lying and school officials banned the backpack even though the kid wasn't really bullied. The evidence to back all that up? It isn't there.

 

I think the wackiest assumption of all is that the mother is telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth here.

You can trust the teachers and principal who were dealing with this situation -- and who are barred by law from saying anything more than they have already -- or you can trust the mother who saw fit to make a TV news story and a Facebook support page out of her 9-year-old boy being a My Little Pony fan. I mean, that's some serious crazy lady shit -- like for real borderline (or over-the-line) mental illness.

 

I'd rather have "bullying" be a bit too all-encompassing than for our first reaction being to question bullying when it happens.

 

I truly believe you need to experience true bullying to understand that telling the victim to change sends such a wrong message.

I was the smallest guy in the school from grades 1-10 and the smartest guy (bookworm stereotype); throw in the fact that I was a minority of less than 1% in my community and had divorced parents in the 70's when it looked like nearly everyone else had 2 parents; I was a walking target for bullies.

How did I cope? I went all out in sports to prove myself; then manuevered to make friends who were larger/older who would protect me. Then in 6th grade had the one fight where I got a bloody nose from a "bad" guy but an everlasting rep.

But was that the right way? Sure if you're talking survival, but was that an ideal for society? NO. No one should have to deal with that; scheme to survive; you know why? Because the bully gets a pass from everyone around. As a societal ideal, that's wrong and unfair. That's what we should be striving for, not asking the victims to make accomodations.

 

The mother should have just named the boy "Sue" and not worried about the backpack.

 

That's the problem with assumption. It is all about opinion and pre-conceived notions. You can't back up your point at all and you aren't even interested in trying.

What we know is the school punished her son. They made him leave his backpack at home. According to the story, it is because they felt it made him a target. Those are facts. The rest is guesswork and opinion. I think the school was wrong to do that. As qtlaw said, it sends the wrong message. My opinion of the one real fact we have leaves me inclined to distrust the decisions made by the school in this case.

To be clear, I don't agree with the mother's choice, either. I hope she at least tried to talk her son into not taking the backpack to school. Forcing him to leave it at home sends the message that he is in the wrong for how others mistreat him. That is a terrible message. But sometimes that is a big part of parenting, talking your kids into making the the better choice rather than forcing it upon them.

I think the publicity might make it harder for him in the long run and might make him more of a target. But you seem to be assuming she was doing this for her own selfish reasons rather than standing up for her kid and you can't come close to supporting that point of view.

 

Oh I totally think she's doing it for her own selfish reasons. I don't see how anyone could think otherwise.

The fact that she posts videos to YouTube of her son beatboxing? That's for her own selfish reasons too.