My Larry David Subway Moment

Subway should have two lines.

One for normal humans and one for fuckers with lists from the office and for assholes talking with someone on a cell phone explaining what they want.

 

Why can't I have multiple orders? Nothing at all wrong with that.

 

Jimmy John's rules so hard. Fantastic bread, and they've got your sandwich in your hand by the time you finish uttering the last syllable of your order.

 

Then I will pay with lose change when I am in front of you. Nothing wrong with that.

When I was at ASU, the Micky D's had a special line for people who wanted their burgers without onions or pickles or crap like that.

It fucking rocked.

 

OK, then I'll just bring the other five people from the office with me, next time. Then, you'll have to deal with six different people telling the sandwich artist what they want, fumbling with their wallets, rambling over napkins and kicking the sweet tea jug.

When someone in front of you has several orders, they're really doing you a favor by keeping the place less crowded (parking lot, too) and speeding up the process. Economy of scale, I think it's called.

 

Not your fault.

Subway needs to rethink their seriving method. I see a line five-deep at a Subway, I walk out or don't go in.

 

If you're ordering for a whole office, call ahead. It'll make everyone happier. Unless it's already the middle of the lunch rush, in which case there is no point.

Subway just isn't a super-fast sort of place, though.

 

Why is it that fucking Dunkin Donuts fucks up my fucking order every single time, especially if I'm getting stuff for wifey and kiddies too? They can't manage more than one item, never write anything down and fuck it up EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME; and worse, when the fuck did a regular coffee become a light coffee? Oh yeah, that's right, when the 17-year-old doofus making the coffee makes it a regular coffee for 17 year olds, which essentially means, light and sweet. Well kid, you suck. KTHXBYE.

P.S. And yes, I SEND IT BACK.

 

Yeah, for some reason Dunkin Donuts isn't hiring from Harvard any more.

 

If they keep screwing up, why do you keep going back?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me seven times ...

 

I ordered JJ's from my dorm once. Called, immediately jumped in the shower. I was drying off less than five minutes later and the driver was already there. I don't know how this happened.

 

Realistically the only way to end up with the correct sub at Subway is the shadow the sandwich artist all the way down the counter.

My mindset is the play like a defensive end in a 5 -2 playing the option. I try to stay on the artists outside shoulder and slide down the sandwich counter with him. You need to be ready with a terse NO if he grabs the wrong slab of meat or condiment. Position is important - stay square to the counter feet shoulder with apart. You can't let him get ahead of you or all is lost. You will end up with mustard on your tuna fish.