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Most recent threat to the British way of life....the Scots

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by JR, Oct 20, 2006.

  1. JR

    JR Active Member


    On the xenophobia scale the Brits are right near the top. Apparently the Scottish hordes are taking over and Londoners are not amused.

    As Alexander Chancellor, a columnist at the Guardian, explains, "There's a feeling that there's just a few too many of them."


    There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make," wrote J.M. Barrie, and, indeed, the upwardly mobile Scot has long been a source of low-grade grumbling. In his 1902 book The Unspeakable Scot, T.W.H. Crosland charged that clannish Scots had begun to dominate London's literary and journalistic circles. Taking up Crosland's mantle these days is journalist Geoffrey Wheatcroft, who told me, "I've been going on about this and I'm treated like a crank." Wheatcroft recently aired his concerns in a radio debate, and emerged from it even more convinced that Home Secretary John Reid was a "complete and utter carpetbagger," and that Scots politicians were "unusually corrupt, drunken, and worthless."

    And Sir John A. MacDonald smiles in his grave.
  2. joe

    joe Active Member

    If i's not Scottish, i's crap!
  3. Next -- A Scotsman on a horse!
  4. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    The English have always been jealous of the Scots.
  5. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    William Wallace is 8-feet tall and shoots fire out of his arse.
  6. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sunny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.

    Tony Giardino: So who's in this Pentavirate?

    Stuart Mackenzie: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee beady eyes! And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

    Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?

    Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smartass!
  7. Huggy

    Huggy Well-Known Member

    We have a piper doon!!!! Piper doon!!!!
  8. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

  9. hondo

    hondo Well-Known Member

    "The problem with Scotland is that it's full of Scots."
  10. JR

    JR Active Member

    True story.

    I worked at a small company and our bookkeeper had emigrated from London.

    When I told her that I was planning on going to Scotland for a vacation, she looked at me as if I had dropped in from Mars. "Why would you want to go up THERE?"
  11. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    Don't worry, he's just pissed!
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