Most embarrassing moment.

Was heading toward the door to pick up my date for a sophomore formal. Was looking at her and walking toward her patio door. Looking and walking, looking and walking....



BAM....right into the glass door. Damn them and their Windex.

 

Thanks, mike. It was a long time ago, so the aroma of fail has been dispersed by the winds of time. Besides, just about every guy has at least one epsisode like that, but very few have ever bedded a woman that hot. I can't curse my fate too roundly. Hopefully your fraulein took it as a sort of compliment. My Belgian friend was very gracious about the matter, I might add.

 

She messaged me a few nights later, telling me, "I really like the sex with you." I took that as a good sign.

I've yet to have a girl I've slept with laugh at my sexual inadequacies, aside from the size of my dick, that is. I'm sure if I fucked a dude, the first thing he'd tell me is how awful I was. Advantage women. Though extremely tough for me to get, they're definitely the nicer gender. It wasn't a coincidence your Belgian friend was gracious. It probably doesn't hurt that she was satisfied with your lapping.

 

I was covering a state baseball playoff game, and ripped the back of my pants on some sharp metal thing along the side of my car seat.

The worst part? I didn't realize what happened -- it wasn't a windy or anything -- until AFTER the game ended. Looking back, I must have done it getting into the car earlier that day.

I picked a bad day to not wear boxers.

 

Mike, the whole experience of working at resort in the Caribbean was actually kind of creepy. I learned that I wasn't even close to being the hedonist that I thought I was. By the time it was over, I was thoroughly bored with alcohol, weed and even pussy. And very sick of being around shallow people. I was ready to sign up for the nearest monastery and read nothing but Thomas Merton, Tolstoy and Dostoevsky for the rest of my life.

 

Farting during sex is much worse. Kills the mood instantly... especially when it happens in a position referred to with a number.

 

"Oh Sandy, the aroma is rising behind us..."

 

But farting after sex is always satisfying.

 

I can't imagine what it would take me to get to that point in my life. I can't even spell Dostoevsky without looking at it.

 

The bloody nose thing reminded me of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."

 

I've got too many to list, and frankly, I don't feel comfortable enough with all the company here to share.

 

I don't want to go into details, but let's just say it involved a midget, a monkey and a quart of Pennzoil.