Most bizarre song lyrics

The lyrics to that song, on paper, aren't all *that* bizarre. The fact that they are spoken over the top of a guy playing accordion for practically the first time in his life ... THAT'S bizarre.

What's even more bizarre? I kind of like it.

 

How about pick a Duran Duran song - any song.

This may be the weirdest song, by lyrical content, to ever go to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. At least until their own "A View to a Kill" the following year.

You've gone too far this time
But I'm dancing on the valentine
I tell you, somebody's fooling around
With my chances on the dangerline
I'll cross that bridge when I find it
Another day to make my stand, oh-woh
High time is no time for deciding
If I should find a helping hand, oh-woh

So whyyyyy don't you use it?
Tryyyyy not to bruise it
Buyyyyy time, don't lose it
Whyyyyy don't you use it?
Tryyyyy not to bruise it
Buyyyyy time, don't lose it

The reflex is an only child, he's waiting in the park
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover, isn't that bizarre?
Every little thing the reflex does
Leaves you answered with a question mark

I'm on a ride and I wanna get off
But they won't slow down the roundabout
I sold the Renoir and the TV set
Don't wanna be around when this gets out

So whyyyyy don't you use it?
Tryyyyy not to bruise it
Buyyyyy time, don't lose it
Whyyyyy don't you use it?
Tryyyyy not to bruise it
Buyyyyy time, don't lose it

The reflex is an only child, he's waiting in the park
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover, isn't that bizarre?
Every little thing the reflex does
Leaves you answered with a question mark

 

Sorry, but I really think it's "the reflex is a lonely town." Then again, that song is a treasure trove of mondigreens.

 

I actually thought "is a lonely child," but Simon Le Bon himself probably doesn't even know.

 

I'd like to cut your head off so I could weigh it, what do ya say?
Five pounds, six, pounds, seven pounds
I'd like to go to your house and gather all your razors and pick all the
little prickly hairs so I can weigh them, what do ya say?
Five pounds, six pounds, seven pounds
I'd like to gather all your friends and squish them all into a small
swimming pool so I can weigh them, what do ya say?
Five pounds, six pounds, seven pounds
Why weigh on a sunny day?
So much to do so why, why weigh?
On a sunny day, why wei-igh-hey?
Why weigh, why weigh?
I'd like to hear my options, so I can weigh them, what do ya say?
Five pounds, six pounds, seven pounds
Why weigh on a sunny day?
So much to do, so why, why weigh?
On a sunny day, why wei-gh-hey?
Why
Oh Why
Why weigh?

 

I don't why
Nobody told you
How to unfold your love

 

Oh ma cameo molesting
Kee pa a poorer for tea
Solar prestige a gammon
Lantern or turbert paw kwee

Solar prestige a gammon
Kool kar kyrie kay salmon
Hair ring molassis abounding
Common lap kitch sardin a poor floundin

Cod ee say oo pay a loto
My zeta prestige toupay a floored
Ray indee pako a gammon
Solar prestige a pako can nord

"Solar prestige a gammon" from the Elton John album 'Caribou'.

And yes, I could sing this from memory as a teen. Trust me, it's easier than singing in Czech.

 

Elton John and Bernie Taupin wrote this looking for as much absurdity as possible. They pretty much hit the target, eh?

Better deep album cuts on this one? "Pinky" and "I've Seen the Saucers."

 

Sirs, Madames,

Particle man, particle man
Doing the things a particle can
What's he like? It's not important
Particle man

Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he's underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows, Particle man

Triangle man, Triangle man
Triangle man hates particle man
They have a fight, Triangle wins
Triangle man

Universe man, Universe man
Size of the entire universe man
Usually kind to smaller man
Universe man

He's got a watch with a minute hand,
Millenium hand and an eon hand
When they meet it's a happy land
Powerful man, universe man

Person man, person man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Person man

Is he depressed or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with person man?
Degraded man, person man

Triangle man, triangle man
Triangle man hates person man
They have a fight, triangle wins
Triangle man


At the end of the song, you have to check the solo on, well, whatever it is he's playing.

o-<

 

I did it like this,
I did it like that,
I did it with a wiffle ball bat, so .......

 

Lady Sniff, Butthole Surfers. Well, just about anything from the Butthole Surfers