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Married folks, how'd you trim down your wedding's guest list?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by schiezainc, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. schiezainc

    schiezainc Well-Known Member

    So, the fiancee and I are currently in the process of finalizing our guest list for our wedding this July and we're at the point of making some tough choices about who gets in and who doesn't.

    Since she's a military kid, she moved around a lot when she was young so she doesn't have nearly as many "Must have" people as I do. Currently, she's got her part of the list done.

    The problem is my list.

    I have a good portion of the family side of my list done, with one or two people still on the boardline IMO. My question is trimming friends down.

    A lot of the people on my list are people I worked with at the college newspaper that I haven't talked to in at least three years. I feel like I should invite them because we USED TO BE close but, if I'm trying to have a very small wedding/reception should I assume they'll understand if I tell them I didn't have the room?

    Also, what's the protocol for people who you've lost touch with but, when you were close, went to their wedding?

    Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    P.S. Wedding planning blows ass.
  2. Big Circus

    Big Circus Well-Known Member

    Just cut at random. (NSFW)

  3. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Huh. I figured you'd have to pay people to go to your wedding.

    Including the bride.
  4. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Not as much as being married.
  5. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    I say this as someone who has been invited to too many events that left me wondering 'Why??':

    If you haven't talked to someone in three years, cut. If you haven't talked to them in a year, and you could have (birthday, happy new year, sorry about your dad, etc), cut.

    They won't care. If they cared, or if you cared, you would have talked to them. If you really want to reconnect, do so after the wedding...'Hey, got married last spring, what's up with you?'
  6. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    If you haven't spoke to someone in three years, you're no longer close (or to use your phrase "we used to be close") or people that you lost touch with, then they should be trimmed from your list.
    If you don't trim them and have to trim someone you're in touch with now/you're close to now, what do you say to the current contact "I know we're close, but I'm sorry you can't come to my wedding because I feel obligated to invite college friends I haven't spoken to in three years because I attended their wedding?" That's bullshit.
    Just because you went to their weddings, doesn't make you obligated to invite them to yours. The wedding is about one of the most important moments in your life. Who do you want to share it with - people you're close to now or people you've lost touch with, but feel obligated to invite?
  7. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    If you've not spoken to somebody in a year, don't invite them. If anybody says anything, just tell them it was a small wedding.

    Of course, we still had 200 or so people at our wedding. So what do I know?
  8. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Will they be pissed off? No? Cut.
    Will you care if they're pissed off? No. Cut.
    Will they buy a great gift? KEEP!

    Seriously, listen to the advice above and ignore the snark. Wedding planning does blow ass. I wasn't paying for it so I told my future wife, "Tell me when to be there. Do what you want." I told both my kids to elope, it is easier.

    Buck has a point, too.
  9. Piotr Rasputin

    Piotr Rasputin New Member

    Someone's marrying schiezainc?

    Here's how you cut down the list. You say, "I'm schieza, so that means you're a mail-order bride, and I call the shots. We're not going to invite all your friends and family from that tiny little dictatorship you hail from."

    Anyway . . .

    I didn't think wedding planning was a bad experience. Now, paying for the wedding . . . that wasn't fun.

    It's easier to decide who to cut if you start by making a list of who you must keep.
  10. schiezainc

    schiezainc Well-Known Member

    Hmm, good advice.

    Oh, and yes, someone is choosing to marry me. Though, to be fair, every day at least someone tells her she's a saint for putting up with me.

    I guess what I'm really getting at is there's a core group of five people that are on the chopping block. They're all in the same boat because we all used to hang out together and now we don't. Of those five, I really want to invite one and leave the other four out but I feel like I should invite all five just to be consistent.

    As a side note, I wish I could have a way to find out who I can invite that A.) Won't actually attend and B.) Will send me a gift.

    Oh, and IJAG, you know you're just jealous that you won't be the one having crazy, monkey honeymoon sex with me. :)
  11. imjustagirl

    imjustagirl Active Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  12. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    scheiza, you better make sure the hotel will let you bring a monkey on your honeymoon, some places have rules about that.
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