Least favorite holiday song?

I like Christmas music but there are some songs (and versions of songs) that I just despise.

I hate "Winter Wonderland" rhyming "conspire" with "fire" just seems forced and wrong.

When we had to sing in it elementary school, I would always sing "later on, we'll perspire, as we sit, by the fire."

Anyway, it seems like a song designed not to offend anyone. Blecch.

Any others?

 

When I hear this one, I am Simply (Not) Having A Wonderful Christmas Time.

Sorry, Paul. Love your body of work, but that's a major league stinker.

 

Ding, dong, ding, dong
Ding, dong, ding, dong

 

The double-barrelled shotgun of holiday musical fail:

"Santa Baby" and "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"

 

The library of Christmas suck is immense. "Little Saint Nick" by the Beach Boys is enough to make me want to destroy all of California in a rampage of vengeance. Out of the traditional English carols, I'd say that "Deck the Halls" sucks the eggnog out of Scrooge's withered phallus.

 

Grandma got run over by a reindeer makes me want to kill an elf!!!

 

Pop singers mangling Schubert's setting of "Ave Maria".

a. NOT a Christmas song

b. If you're going to sing in Latin, learn what it means and don't breathe in the middle of a fuckin' word.

c. It's a beautiful song but it's not meant to be lugubrious and slow. Wallowing is unbecoming in a singer.

 

Anything by Johnny Mathis.

 

Santa Baby and We Wish You A Merry Christmas...HATE THEM!

I love Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, especially sung by Berl Ives.

 

Some of the least fave have already been mentioned, most notably Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time, which is almost hideous enough to go into a time machine and feed Lennon-McCartney songs like Winchester Cathedral or Incense And Peppermints, so the Beatles' popularity would never reach the heights they reached, thus preventing McCartney from having a solo career and keeping us from ever hearing that insipid song.

We have this thread every year, but I'll throw in for All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. All I want for Christmas is to punch that little fucker in the mouth, teeth or sans teeth.

 

Jingle Cats version of White Christmas.

The most painful thing I have ever had to let my eardrums endure.

Captain Kirk and Bubbler one thing I have to say about your dissing of McCartney's Xmas hit:

 

Well, if you punch him in the mouth, he's gonna be needing more than two teeth, I surmise.