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Latest Story for The Shelbyville News

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by Patrick Murphy, Jun 5, 2019.

  1. Patrick Murphy

    Patrick Murphy New Member

    It's been a while, hasn't it? Well I have written a lot of articles since then. But only one for The Shelbyville News. If you guys want, I can also post the other articles.

    Anyway, here's the link to my latest article for this unpaid internship from Indiana.

    Link: The Shelbyville News - shelbynews.com (It's about a local girl who was a fan for a professional WNBA team and now is an employee for them)
     
  2. jlee

    jlee Well-Known Member

    Hey, thanks for posting so often.

    Feel free to toss up anything you’d like critiqued. I try to make sure everything at least gets a response, though it may be a week or so before I have a chance to actually think about it.

    A few lingering questions about this one:

    — Will she be working with Erlana Larkins as part of the Fever? What is this “bond” — did they meet, if so how many times — or does Spahr just feel a connection to Larkins?

    — Kids can be a hard source of info, so I’m glad you got her former coach to fill out some details. I’d try for more sourcing in that manner. A kid generally won’t know what’s actually special about their situation, but the adults in her life might. Especially around things like her fandom.

    — Did you get anything from the team or the WNBA? Even a canned quote or some info about how many kids applied for the job could give this local-kid-does-good story a little more shine.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2019
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