Last Time You Threw a Punch?

seventh grade.

 

Guy A: How's the water?
Guy B (pissing off dock): Cold.

Sorry ... this thread just seems like a case of everyone bragging about the size of their unit.

That said, about four years ago I fought off a guy and his roommate in a tussle that included me holding one of them by the neck against a wall with my left hand and punching the other in throat with my right hand.

Me: It's deep too!

 

Welcome to Jamaica. Have a nice day!

 

Does a slap count?

 

Damn! don't think I threw a punch since maybe high school. Now, just figure I'm too old for that shit. Plus, litigation is a bitch.

 

I'm a pretty mild mannered guy generally and usually when I play hoops, but when my temper goes it really goes. I had seen the player with the fake submarine do something similar a couple of days before the incident in question and a number of us told him that it was a really dirty play. I've had a coupe of nasty spills playing hoops, especially when I could jump, so that play really set me off.

 

At the ALCS a couple of years ago, BYH and I were tag-teaming a couple of hookers in Boston. Things got nasty with their pimp and I had to throw a couple of haymakers. Didn't feel good about it, though.

 

Seventh grade. The guy, about 9 inches shorter than me, had terrorized me through two years as a Little League teammate, and continued when junior high began.

I finally realized nothing was going to change unless I pushed back. So, one day we were filing in line to the auditorium for an assembly, and he was in the line next to me. He started pulling the bully stuff, and I took a swing at him. I missed fully, but there was no doubt to my intention ... especially to the teacher who gave me two weeks' detention.

The next afternoon, as I was getting dressed for football practice, the bully came up and acted like we'd been best buddies for years.

Wish I could say that was the end of such crap, but the following year, another bully found me in a convenience store parking lot a day or two after I had said something smart-assed to him. He sucker-punched a black eye onto me. And I didn't do a damn thing. Still bothers me.

 

Ninth grade...I was a puny thing 4-foot-11,90 pounds) and my asshole friends liked to set up fights for their own amusement. They'd say something like "Johnny so-and-so said you suck", I was dumb enough to believe it, and I usually got riled up and got my ass kicked. Well, this day, I won. Johnny so-and-so was a sixth grader who was about my size, maybe even a little bigger than me. We squared off in the alley, and the first punch he landed gave me a bloody nose. After 5 or 10 minutes of glorified sparring, he complained he was tired and I went to town. Bloodied his lip and nose, and broke my thumb in the process.
One of the old neighbors eventually heard the whole thing (there were probably 20 people watching the fight) and called the cops. They tracked me down at a friend's house 30 minutes later. I told the cop he gave me a bloody nose (thinking fair was fair, no harm no foul), and the stupid bitch actually said "I don't see any blood."
Ummm...Officer Hobag, I cleaned myself up. It was a half-hour ago.
Anyway, the bitch cop took me home to my parents. So out of the whole deal, I got roped into a horrible fight with a sixth-grader; busted by the cops; broke my thumb; and got grounded for a few weeks. Life sucked back then.

 

Best friend: "Hey, wanna fuck?"

Girl in bar: *shocked*

Girl's boyfriend: WTF?