Last time been in a fight, last time seen a fight

Last fight I saw: In a bar about 4-5 months ago. A really overweight guy was trying to go after a really tall, skinny guy. They both were taken outside, and it resolved there without any more punches thrown.

Last fight I was in: Eighth grade, and I was hit from behind and sucker-punched by a bully. Teachers broke it up quick. Other kid got a ton of detention. Bully continued to harass me verbally, but never got physical again.

Most scariest situation: I was in 10th grade and this other bully kept punching me every single day while walking past me in homeroom. On the few occasions where the teacher saw it (she was mostly out of the room monitoring the hallway), she gave the kid detention.

Finally, one day, I got fed up. I took a large kitchen knife from my house (kid was much bigger than me) and brought it to school. When bully walked past me, I told him, "Hit me, and I'll chop your leg off." Kid made some little comment, and walked by me. He never said a word to me for the next 21/2 years.

I'm still wondering how different my life would have turned out if the kid would have tried to hit me. I had never been in trouble in school, and it was the pre-Columbine era. But I could have been thrown in the slammer, and had my life ruined. I was just so sick and tired of the kid hitting me every single day, I didn't care at that moment what the consequences were going to be.

 

In: 2001 or 02 (maybe 03), when I was supplementing my income by working a bar on big holidays. Trouble started and I waded into the middle of it.

Saw: About a month ago, two guys going at it in a parking lot when I was sitting at a red light nearby.

 

Whoa.

I promise to never punch you in the arm.

 

My last fight was my 23rd birthday.

We were having a big party and one of the guests, who was an OK guy, told his punk-ass brother, who showed up in his pickup truck with a friend.

They were clearly drunk and obnoxious, and I asked them to leave after they began harassing one of the female guests. The guy got in his truck and appeared ready to leave. Then he began mouthing off to me and two of my friends, hurling racial and religious taunts. Big mistake.

It was not his finest moment.

I walked over to his truck, opened the door and grabbed him by the throat with my right hand. I then hit him square in mouth several times with my left hand. Hard. Someone dove on my back and I fell into his lap. He tried to stick his fingers in my eyes, whereupon I bit him in the forearm and smashed him in the solar plexis with an elbow. He left soon after.

The next morning, I woke up at my girlfriend's and she got out of bed and put on my shirt when she noticed a lot of blood on one of the sleeves. None of it was mine. Turns out I knocked out several front teeth from Mr. racist/anti-semite.

In general, I abhor violence and since then have walked away from a number of situations that could have resulted in fights. But this was one of those nights where someone needed to learn a hard lesson and I was happy to do the matriculating.

 

Was it in Philly? The immortal Tex Cobb once said Philly was such a great fight town that you could see two winos fighting in the street and both of them would be jabbing.

 

This wasn't a fight, but I remember a time when I hosted a New Year's party for some friends from college.

One of the guys who was planning to come wanted to bring one of his friends, whom I didn't know. I immediately thought about all the TV shows I've watched over the years where a friend brought his friend who brought his friend. Long story short: In each case, the house got seriously trashed.

I said no way in hell to his bringing someone I didn't know. Maybe I'm too much of a control freak, I don't know. All I know is, nothing got broken.

 

The bully was doing more than just punching me in the arm. (try, the head).

Thing is, I tried all the good ways of combating it (telling teachers, etc.). Nothing was deterring the kid. I had been bullied multiple times by multiple kids throughout my HS stint. This kid hitting me everyday became the issue that pushed me over the edge.

I don't think it had much to do with it, since I never got in trouble, and never heard anything else about it, but the bullying by other kids slowly started to dissipate (It never went fully away), and I actually enjoyed the end of my junior year and my senior year. Before that, school sucked big-time.

Like everyone else, whenever I hear of a Columbine, I'm horrified. But yet, a small part of me understands why a kid might get so desperate to bring a gun to school. By no means do I condone it. But I do understand.

 

In a fight -- July 1995
Seen one -- February 2000, big bar brawl

 

In: Summer of 1996 in the beer garden at The Boiler Room in Owensboro, Ky. For no reason, a guy was mouthing off to a friend and me all night. Finally, while my friend was on stage doing karaoke to "16 Tons," the dude says something, I say "Fuck you!" and me and the dude went at it. Mike sees it, yells "Get him, Joe!" drops the mic and comes running.

The bartenders/bouncers separated us pretty quick. I got a cut on my right index finger, but I don't know if it was glass on the ground or one of his teeth. I was pretty drunk.

Seen: Been forever, probably high school.

Next one: The next time someone pushes my buttons.

 

"none of it was mine" ... priceless.

 

I went on a road trip to watch the Bears in Detroit for a Monday night game in the late 80s. As the Bears were driving for the winning field goal, a group of Lions fans got brave and got in front of us and started some crap. The guy in front of me pushed me and watched my right hand when I dropped him with my left. One of the best times to be left-handed.
Security came and dragged the Lions fans away after Detroit fans pointed them out. Which I thought was kind of nice.
I still hate the Lions, though.
One lasting memory is seeing Kevin Butler being congratulated by his teammates for the winning field goal--which I never saw.
Also had to drive home with a throbbing hand but it had to have been better than the guy I decked. He didn't look that hot when they were dragging him away.

Last one I saw was a guy about half the age of another trading punches on Wells St. in Chicago.

 

One of those guys is a great friend of mine and is a tank platoon leader in Iraq.