Kids off to college anyone?

85 percent move back in, right?

 

Before you start as a freshman, you have six weeks of "Beast Barracks," which we could see going on while we toured campus. So the goodbye is before college even technically starts.

 

It's not that expensive to change the locks.

 

Another golf buddy of mine tells the story of his son, from his first marriage, giving the mother some above-average teenager torment. My friend, a former college basketball player, gave the kid the option of straightening the hell out (and going through some extended period of penance, etc.) or going in the Army. Kid says, "To hell with that, I'll go in the Army. So, he went through all the preliminaries, at each stage asking "Can I still back out?" Finally, he looked at a door and asked, "If I walk through that door, can I still back out?", to which the response was, "You go through that door, there's no backing out." The son paused and said, "OK, Dad, I'll straighten out."

 

I was in my 20s during the 1990s, and it seemed like more that 80 percent of the people in my age group spent time living at their parents house after college.

 

I'm still unemployed and fighting for disability for my spinal problems. Truth be told, if I didn't freeload off my wife I would have moved back with my parents about 18 months ago. I'm well out of college, too.

 

Son and daughter return for sophomore year. 2 different schools other side of the state. 7-8 hour drive. I can't wait to get my wife and life back. No tears here. House is not big enough for 4 adults. It was chaos all summer. They play sports varsity sports and I love seeing them on weekends after games. Perfect.

 

If you love and enjoy your kids -- and I assume that's most of us -- you can't help but miss them. Still, if you choose to look at this as an opportunity, like more of your time is your own, it can be a great positive. There are still things Mrs. Novelist and I want to share with our kids, but there are things we want to do together before we get too old, too.

 

Overview of the Pew research - http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/08/01/a-rising-share-of-young-adults-live-in-their-parents-home/ - only mentions a short segment through 2007.
When I get a chance, I'll be interested to skim through the full report. It says 56 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds live with their parents. That just doesn't seem that high to me looking back through my experience. I was 18 in 1988.

 

At the Air Force Academy they used to play Christmas music when the cadets arrived, as a reminder that they wouldn't be seeing their families until then.

 

Washington Post's Michael Gerson wrote a very nice column on this topic:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/michael-gerson-saying-goodbye-to-my-child-the-youngster/2013/08/19/6337802e-08dd-11e3-8974-f97ab3b3c677_story.html

He is experiencing the adjustments that come with beginnings. His life is starting for real. I have begun the long letting go. Put another way: He has a wonderful future in which my part naturally diminishes. I have no possible future that is better without him close.

Don't know if I'd go that far, it seems like a lot of people use the opportunity by re-engaging work or finding another volunteer or social outlet, but check back in with me when my eighth-grader is a high school graduate. Another thing mentioned in Gerson's column is that the biggest source of kids' anxiety is that their bedroom will turn into something else -- as much as they want to travel the world and experience everything, they still want that place where they belong.

 

Just my opinion, but I think the worst thing parents can do is have their kids commute to college from home. I know it's different if they're at a JC, but I think the most important aspect of college was getting out of the nest and living on your own.