Kate. Topless. Take 2.

Donny in his element · Sep 19, 2012

Double Down said:

spikechiquet said:

This is the Kate I want to see topless

<img src="http://www-images.theonering.org/torwp/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Evangeline-Lilly-4-HHISK9GKPQ-1400x1050.jpg">
Click to expand...

OK, here is what I'm going to do. I've designed a maze that you have to navigate through. We're going to assume that, in the middle of the maze, Kate Austin is waiting for you, topless (although this is sort of speculative, and maybe something you saw in a vision, or heard whispers of while you were walking through the Jobs Board alone one night). To get to the middle of the maze, you need to work together with a lot of other SJ posters, because the journey is really difficult and sort of meandering and some of them will have their profiles nuked along the way, but not before you learn fascinating stuff about them, like Lugnuts is a woman and Bubbler used to be in a wheelchair until he made love to a magical deer inside the maze. During the journey, another group of posters, we'll call them The Others From The Sports Desk, will try to distract you, and capture your friends, tempting them with pictures of a topless Katie Holmes or Lindsey Lohan. There will be accusations of spies, double crossing, moles and deceit. Occasionally Boom will show up, try to manipulate you with his clever mind games, and you'll never know if he's on your side or just messing with you. Eventually, you'll leave the maze and maybe get hooked on Oxycontin, but you'll find your way back because you have to. You have to go back. (Boobs!) At some point, you get so frustrated within the maze that one of your friends, we'll call him Ryan Sonner, suggests you double click the Ignore button, which will take you back in time, to the beginning of the maze, so you can figure out the secret to the maze by following Almost Famous, who according to SJ lore, might have originally built the maze. (If anything goes wrong, dooley shall be your constant.) And when you do that, you find out the maze actually was built by people drawn to a website with magical properties that was founded, years ago, when Mike Freeman wrote a 2,000-word rant criticizing Jets beat writers for, among other things, looking at picture of boobs. When you finally make it to the end of the maze, all your friends you thought were long gone (Fenian Bastard, jgmacg, Redswriter, mikey, Clubber Slang, hockeybeat, sportschick) are there waiting for you! It turns out ... there was no maze! (Not really anyway. Or something.) You were all just posting on parallel message boards the entire time.

Where are Kate's boobs, you'll ask? Where are they! I want answers, dammit! Answers!

No, Moddy will say. Let it go. It was never about Kate's boobs. It's about the journey. And the way it made you feel.
Click to expand...

And what's the deal with the flash sideways? I mean, what the hell.

[awesome. adding this post to sjpedia, ASAP.]

Boom_70 · Sep 19, 2012

Tremendous DD - goes right to the top of all time greats.

Mizzougrad96 · Sep 19, 2012

Has Lilly worked since Lost went off the air?

Double Down · Sep 19, 2012

Mizzougrad96 said:

Has Lilly worked since Lost went off the air?
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Not much, but supposedly it's by choice. She was in Real Steel, that robot boxing movie with Hugh Jackman.

She's also playing a made-up, non-Tolkein character in the 3-part nerdgasm that is The Hobbit.

Mizzougrad96 · Sep 19, 2012

Double Down said:

Mizzougrad96 said:

Has Lilly worked since Lost went off the air?
Click to expand...

Not much, but supposedly it's by choice. She was in Real Steel, that robot boxing movie with Hugh Jackman.

She's also playing a made-up, non-Tolkein character in the 3-part nerdgasm that is The Hobbit.
Click to expand...

Well, we know she'll be getting a diamond-studded lifetime invitation to Comic-Con now...

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Kate. Topless. Take 2.

Donny in his element Well-Known Member

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Kate. Topless. Take 2.

Donny in his element Well-Known Member

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