Kansas-Toledo game

So I was watching this game tonight while feeding the baby (he turns a month old tomorrow) and a question came to mind:

If you put the two head coaches together on a big ol' scale, what do you think you'd come up with? I'm not making fun, mind you; I'm no shrinking violet myself.

 

A broken scale.

 

Is the KU coach's daughter still excited about that head job?

 

I interviewed Tom Amstutz in his office once. I had my fingers on the 9-1-1 speed dial and was ready to dispatch emergency services to the Glass Bowl stat if need be, dude was laboring.

 

Mark Mangino will drown his sorrows with a steaming bowl of lard. I, too, am what Phil the Showkiller would call "fat", but I'll be damned if Mangino's head wouldn't make a hell of a bowling ball. It's perfectly round.

 

I think the Toledo coach grows 15 inches wider each year. He was a pencil under Pinkel.

 

Were the two coaches able to get close enough together to shake hands after the game?

 

I went to interview a fat high school coach once. Dude was easily three bills. It's about 3 in the afternoon, maybe an hour before practice, and the coach says he hasn't eaten yet and asks if he can eat while we talk. I say no problem.
We head into his office, and coach brings along a shopping bag. He sits down and pulls out a box of chicken and a 2-liter of Hawaiian Punch. As we're talking, he's devouring the chicken and taking slugs of Punch straight from the 2-liter. And the whole time he's wearing one of those "Big Daddy" T-shirts that, since this was the South in mid-August, had plenty of sweat stains.
It took everything I had and then some to keep from laughing my ass off.

 

I thought the same thing last night when I got home from work.
I thought Amstutz was fat, but Mangino... DAY-UM

 

God put those two guys on earth to make Ralph Friedgen look healthy.

 

The one thing I seriously thought when I saw him tonight is how the fuck does he take a whiz? I mean, that guy's stubby arms can be long enough for him to reach his dick, can they?

 

When I saw the game last night, Dr. J and I realized that he weighed more than the two of us combined.

I mean, how is he still living? Wouldn't a game like that give him a heart attack?