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Jones says ...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by joe, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. joe

    joe Active Member

    "Dude, I'm in fucking tears on my couch. Classic. Too bad my gut hurts so
    much, because the laughs ain't helping, but dude, fucking funny.

    I think you need to post that on SportsJournalists.com. You'll be a rock star, or at least
    a roadie. And roadie's get lots of pussy, just not the premium pussy that
    rock stars get.

    Oh, doctor. Fucking crying.

    Just read it again. Dude. "Dairy Queen, he wheezed." I want that on my
    tombstone. Seriously. Last words. Awesome.

    Only thing... bartender was Chicago Mike, not Chicago Joe, you fucking

    Other than that, perfecto. And thanks for being (relatively) kind. Although
    my shirt is fucking kick-ass, you dick."

    Story of Mr. Jones and me in Minneapolis available at www.joesnxnw.com.
    Too long to post here without multiple posts, and I'm too drunk to do that now anyway. The above quotes are from Jones, the ass eater.
  2. Jones

    Jones Active Member

    Holy fuck, I'm apparently quite profane.
  3. joe

    joe Active Member

    Just finding that out?
  4. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Hey, Jonesy. How's the Vicodin treating you? :D
  5. Simon

    Simon Active Member

    Can someone explain tot he college student who studies and drinks too much? PM please.
  6. Jones

    Jones Active Member

    Seriously, dude, I really had no idea. I mean, I knew I wasn't an angel, but Christ, it's like a drunk, angry David Mamet is in my head. I'm a dad now. Gotta clean that shit up.
  7. Jones

    Jones Active Member

    I like it just fine, Doc. I only take it before bed. And then I wake up two days later, thinking I'm Belinda Carlisle.
  8. joe

    joe Active Member

    If you wrote poetry, you could by Dylan Thomas. But your shit sure ain't poetry.
  9. buckweaver

    buckweaver Active Member

    Well, that's a start. :D
  10. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    Naw, fuck it. Random profanity has no effect on a child. My parents swore around me, and it had no fucking effect on me whatsoever.

    EDIT: Yeah, Vicodin's good like that. I was on Demerol for a few days after the surgery. They may be small incisions (I'm assuming they went in laproscopically), but they still feel like you've been shot in the stomach.
  11. Jones

    Jones Active Member

    I went drinking in Minneapolis with this douchebag joe. He wrote about it and posted the story on his blog. The quotes in his original post are e-mails I sent to him after reading it. I really think it's funny. But maybe you had to be there. Or maybe you need to be a drunk college student, in which case, you're in luck!
  12. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    After reading that, Joe and Jones have moved to the top of the "People Requested for the Vegas Outing" list.
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