1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Johnny plays hard

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Shoeless Joe, Oct 20, 2010.

  1. Shoeless Joe

    Shoeless Joe Active Member

    You can't make this up. Here is an actual email we received this morning:

    My name is Danielle and I'm a proud mother of Johnny. Johnny is on the football team for XXXXX middle school. He just told me to day that him and his team mates got screwed! I asked why ? They don't get to play in the championship games! The reason he got is becouse they didn't play big enough schools! Well that didn't make alot of since there is only 3 middle schools in XXXX county! The three is XXXX , XXXX and XXXX (*two of these were misspelled*). XXXX had already played XXXX, and were undefeted. These 6,7and 8th graders worked very hard and deserve th chance to go to championship games ! Can u help our little people the deserve to be herd! Well adleast keeping thier grades up was thier responceablity they done thier part this is a reward for them! They could have been in trouble , failing and not careing about anything! My son said what's the point of getting good grades , they will just crap on use again!
  2. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    Press delete and forget you ever read it.
  3. Shoeless Joe

    Shoeless Joe Active Member

    Oh yeah, after several rounds of laughter, it was properly filed because there isn't any response to something like that.
  4. Ben_Hecht

    Ben_Hecht Active Member

    "But Johnny picks his nose so fetchingly. He does it so well, I have hopes
    he can become another Colin Cowherd."
  5. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    If your paper covers middle school sports, it's getting what it deserves. :)
  6. cyclingwriter

    cyclingwriter Active Member

    To put that in proper e-mail form
    Get on wut used deserts
  7. murphyc

    murphyc Well-Known Member

    How about sending her the address for Hooked on Phonics? She should get a complete refund.
    Hoked on fonics didnt werk four here.
  8. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    Tell her that based on 50 percent of little Johnny's genes, he better study as hard as he plays.
  9. Steak Snabler

    Steak Snabler Well-Known Member

    "Well adleast keeping thier grades up was thier responceablity they done thier part this is a reward for them!"

    That might be the most gloriously ill-constructed sentence in the history of the English language ...
  10. Cosmo

    Cosmo Well-Known Member

    Naw, this is:

    Boytoys always hee-hawed at me and even men did in the federal john!
    Well, now I hee-haw at them, because I took Me_ga. d_ik.
    for 7 months and now my dick is excessively bigger than national.
  11. Steak Snabler

    Steak Snabler Well-Known Member

    That's more like a limerick.
  12. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    Jokes aside, this is what I would have sent back...

    Dear Johnny's mom,

    Thank you for taking the time to email me. I'm so glad that you've been impressed with the way your son has been playing football this season. I can't wait to cover him when he continues that success in high school.

    Thanks for reading,

    Shoeless Joe
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page