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Job interview assignment

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by DGRollins, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. DGRollins

    DGRollins Member

    I interviewed for a position last week and was assigned an article as part of the interview process. It was published today. I would appreciate it if someone could have a look and make suggestions for improvement.

    Here it is (as a point of consideration, it was written for a Canadian market where field lacrosse is not commonly played. Box lacrosse is the game in this area...):

    When many people think of lacrosse they imagine a rough game filled with brutal violence.

    Transgressions that would land you in the penalty box, or worse, in most other sports are commonplace. Actually, they are expected in a game where slashing and cross-checking are a typical way to remove ball from player.

    Those are the images John Mayo must overcome as he attempts to grow the game of girls’ field lacrosse in Orillia.

    However, the vice president of girl’s lacrosse in the city says it’s important for people to realize the game he’s selling isn’t like the more aggressive sport of box lacrosse.

    “A lot of people say ‘I’m going to let my girls play lacrosse? What, are you out of your mind,’” he says. “There is a misunderstanding of what it is.”

    Indeed, women’s field lacrosse is unique in that it does not allow for any contact. Men’s field and box lacrosse, as well as women’s box lacrosse, allow contact and stick work.

    According to the competition director of the Ontario Women’s Lacrosse League, Gordon Robertson, the uniqueness of the women’s game is its strength.

    “The girls love that it’s their game,” he says. “It’s unique, so they aren’t being compared to their brothers.”

    Robertson, an Orillia native, has been involved in the sport for about 10 years. Both his daughters play at an elite level.

    “It’s a great game,” he says. Both girls have learned to become independent, they have learned leadership skills and have developed friendships with girls from all over the province because of the game.”

    Robertson’s eldest daughter, Brianna, is currently playing field lacrosse in the NCAA at Pennsylvania’s Lycoming College.

    She is one of about 10 female players playing in the NCAA according to Ron MacStadyen, the Ontario Lacrosse Association’s promotions and marketing director. Currently, there are more women from Ontario playing college lacrosse in the U.S. than at any other time in the past, he says. And he suggests the figure should climb even higher in the future.

    Mayo agrees.

    “Field lacrosse is a game that is growing tremendously,” he says. “In the U.S. there are more and more elite programs springing up all the time.”

    Additionally, Mayo points out, there is now an opportunity to play university lacrosse here in Ontario.

    Field lacrosse has been a recognized varsity sport in Ontario University Athletics for the last seven years. About eight Orillia and area players currently compete in the OUA, including four at Wilfrid Laurier University, which has captured the last four provincial championships.

    Orillia’s Kirsten Gerrie was named to the all-OUA team in each of the last two seasons and was named Wilfrid Laurier’s rookie athlete of the year in 2005-06.

    Mayo says it’s incredible that a city the size of Orillia has produced so many athletes playing the sport at a high level.

    However, that’s not to say that a girl needs to aspire to elite competition to enjoy lacrosse, says Robertson. Actually, he says, one of the best aspects to the sport is its accessibility — anyone, at any skill level, can play the game.

    “That’s the nice thing about it, he says. “Whether you are three feet tall or six you can compete on an equal footing.”

    That’s the message Mayo says he is trying to get out as he prepares for another season of minor field lacrosse in Orillia. Clinics are being held Tuesdays between 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. all month at the MASK. It’s hoped that by exposing more girls to the game, the numbers playing in the city will increase, he says.

    Currently, there are four girls’ field lacrosse programs operating in the city. There are competitive under-15 and under-19 teams, as well as house leagues for each of those age groups.

    Players as young as eight or nine are not uncommon in the under-15 house league, says Mayo.

    Registration continues March 27, between 6:30 and 8:30 p.m.
  2. DGRollins

    DGRollins Member

    Also, since most of the jobs I've been applying to have a photography element, I'm wondering if someone would mind having a look at my photos to offer suggestions for improvement:


    Thanks in advance....
  3. Hey DG,

    I'll just stick to the writing because I really don't know much about the sport ... I thought girls' played what you called box lacrosse down here in the states but I may be wrong ...

    Anyway, the second graph really throws me off. It's awkward. When you bring up "other sports" I'm not sure what you're talking about because I thought you were talking about lacrosse.

    I think you can find an easier way of saying what you're trying to say in a more concise way.
  4. DGRollins

    DGRollins Member


    Box lacrosse is played in a hockey rink. When it comes to violence, it makes hockey look like co-ed, recreational volleyball at the YMCA. Chris Simon's hit probably would have resulted in a two-minute penalty in box lacrosse.

    Anyone else....
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