Jenna Jameson's Lamborghini

Or I've got a small penis. But, yeah, we can go with your answer. I like that.

 

Speak for yourself, Mikey.

 

Fine. I didn't hope to be your ex-wife. Some people.

 

Are you losing it from not using it?

 

Every wife wants to be Ryan Sonner's ex-wife. So does every husband.

 

I'm only 25. I'll let you know in 15 years.

 

So many places to go with this one.
I'm surprised you, Mr. Seinfeld Quoter, haven't mentioned "shrinkage."
And you plain to go another 15 years without getting laid?

 

No, certainly not. I didn't go to the "shrinkage" because I thought that was a riff on "The 40-year-old Virgin."

I'm not a one-trick pony. I've got at least three or four tricks up my sleeves.

 

You need three or four tricks at your place right now. Then we'd have an exciting thread.

 

It was a "40-Year-Old Virgin" reference, but you seem to be all Seinfeld lately, so I'm just saying...
Now, if I said you were "SO EXCITED!" and yet "SO SCARED!" about the possibilites involving your incredible shrinking penis, I think I know where you'd go with it.
Which reminds me -- just how many times have you masturbated watching "Showgirls?" Is it in the thousands yet?

 

Thread: Can Mikey end his streak with a gaggle of willing skanks in the crib?

 

Oh, my, my. That post had my brain turning in every direction.

It's funny that you mention "Showgirls," because just yesterday, I was walking with someone, and we were talking about Dustin Diamond and what a tool he's become. Then she and I discussed how Jessie and Kelly went off and did different shows and/or movies to shed that image. And Showgirls came up. She hadn't seen it, but figured I did -- not because I'm a dude, but because I, well, me. I've only seen it once, and not all the way through, either. It was tough for me to watch Berkley play anything other than Miss Spano. The same goes with Tiffany playing Val on 90210. It's just not right.

And to answer your question, DC: Zero times.