Jaws

Chi City 81 · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Van Lingle Mungo said:

Lee Jackson Beauregard said:

I would rather hear about the consistency of one's bowel movements than their fantasy team.
Click to expand...

Then you should've sat in my window seat on a flight I took last week. By the time I could put on my headphones, I knew more about the lower intestine of the guy sitting next to me than I knew about mine.
Click to expand...

Outing alert -- Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King.

Gutter · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

The Good Doctor said:

Van Lingle Mungo said:

Lee Jackson Beauregard said:

I would rather hear about the consistency of one's bowel movements than their fantasy team.
Click to expand...

Then you should've sat in my window seat on a flight I took last week. By the time I could put on my headphones, I knew more about the lower intestine of the guy sitting next to me than I knew about mine.
Click to expand...

Outing alert -- Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King.
Click to expand...

I think the guy next to Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King ... all those lattes can't be good on the bowels.

Van Lingle Mungo · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Gutter said:

The Good Doctor said:

Van Lingle Mungo said:

Lee Jackson Beauregard said:

I would rather hear about the consistency of one's bowel movements than their fantasy team.
Click to expand...

Then you should've sat in my window seat on a flight I took last week. By the time I could put on my headphones, I knew more about the lower intestine of the guy sitting next to me than I knew about mine.
Click to expand...

Outing alert -- Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King.
Click to expand...

I think the guy next to Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King ... all those lattes can't be good on the bowels.
Click to expand...

If it were, would finding out Peter King's bowels moved 12 times on September 21 warrant its own thread?

Gutter · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Van Lingle Mungo said:

Gutter said:

The Good Doctor said:

Van Lingle Mungo said:

Lee Jackson Beauregard said:

I would rather hear about the consistency of one's bowel movements than their fantasy team.
Click to expand...

Then you should've sat in my window seat on a flight I took last week. By the time I could put on my headphones, I knew more about the lower intestine of the guy sitting next to me than I knew about mine.
Click to expand...

Outing alert -- Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King.
Click to expand...

I think the guy next to Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King ... all those lattes can't be good on the bowels.
Click to expand...

If it were, would finding out Peter King's bowels moved 12 times on September 21 warrant its own thread?
Click to expand...

No, but I'm sure he would make a column out of it.

Chi City 81 · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Gutter said:

Van Lingle Mungo said:

Gutter said:

The Good Doctor said:

Van Lingle Mungo said:

Lee Jackson Beauregard said:

I would rather hear about the consistency of one's bowel movements than their fantasy team.
Click to expand...

Then you should've sat in my window seat on a flight I took last week. By the time I could put on my headphones, I knew more about the lower intestine of the guy sitting next to me than I knew about mine.
Click to expand...

Outing alert -- Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King.
Click to expand...

I think the guy next to Van Lingle Mungo is Peter King ... all those lattes can't be good on the bowels.
Click to expand...

If it were, would finding out Peter King's bowels moved 12 times on September 21 warrant its own thread?
Click to expand...

No, but I'm sure he would make a column out of it.
Click to expand...

Did Starbucks merge with Super Colon Blow?

Songbird · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Medial Collateral said:

Two more Kornheiser insights from that July 13, 1990 column:

"My problem is with the concept of Roto Ball.
It's techno-nerd.
Wise up, Roto-Maniacs. Celebrate sports, don't calibrate them.
Sports shouldn't be faxed. They should be played. If you can't play, watch. Or listen on radio.
Roto Ball doesn't demand you do anything except arrange numbers. If that's what drove baseball, they wouldn't draft infielders, they'd draft accountants. Roto Guys have no need to go to the ballpark."

"Roto Guys are the antithesis of sports. They're the decimal point brigade, the Info-cult of the 21st century, the wax works of western civilization.
Roto Guys have no souls."
Click to expand...

Fantastic.

PCLoadLetter · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

mustardbased said:

For one week, I'd like to see them go without a PBP guy. Just let Kornheiser and Theismann (preferably Wilbon, though) riff during the entire game. The football fans will know what's going on and the folks watching in bars won't care. Just quit trying to recreate what you once had, because it isn't working.

Are there really THAT many people who get THAT much out of Tirico telling you it's 2nd and 10 when there's a fucking graphic on the screen already telling you that?
Click to expand...

Once a week Fox Soccer Channel airs a Premiership match from SkySports with one diehard fan from each team as the announcer pair. It's absolutely fantastic. The commentary frequently dissolves into "Bloody hell! No! NOOO!!!"

They should try it out with the NFL. At least the NFL network could give it a shot.

Chi City 81 · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

PCLoadLetter said:

mustardbased said:

For one week, I'd like to see them go without a PBP guy. Just let Kornheiser and Theismann (preferably Wilbon, though) riff during the entire game. The football fans will know what's going on and the folks watching in bars won't care. Just quit trying to recreate what you once had, because it isn't working.

Are there really THAT many people who get THAT much out of Tirico telling you it's 2nd and 10 when there's a fucking graphic on the screen already telling you that?
Click to expand...

Once a week Fox Soccer Channel airs a Premiership match from SkySports with one diehard fan from each team as the announcer pair. It's absolutely fantastic. The commentary frequently dissolves into "Bloody hell! No! NOOO!!!"

They should try it out with the NFL. At least the NFL network could give it a shot.
Click to expand...

It certainly can't be worse than the Theesman-Kornheiser color combo.

slappy4428 · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Songbird said:

Medial Collateral said:

Two more Kornheiser insights from that July 13, 1990 column:

"My problem is with the concept of Roto Ball.
It's techno-nerd.
Wise up, Roto-Maniacs. Celebrate sports, don't calibrate them.
Sports shouldn't be faxed. They should be played. If you can't play, watch. Or listen on radio.
Roto Ball doesn't demand you do anything except arrange numbers. If that's what drove baseball, they wouldn't draft infielders, they'd draft accountants. Roto Guys have no need to go to the ballpark."

"Roto Guys are the antithesis of sports. They're the decimal point brigade, the Info-cult of the 21st century, the wax works of western civilization.
Roto Guys have no souls."
Click to expand...

Fantastic.
Click to expand...

Now you did it. Bill Slimmons is going to lurk here, and steal it for his column.. Wait, that would be bashing an ESPN employee. Never mind. Give it to the guy at WaPo who reamed him before...

PopeDirkBenedict · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

The Good Doctor said:

PCLoadLetter said:

mustardbased said:

For one week, I'd like to see them go without a PBP guy. Just let Kornheiser and Theismann (preferably Wilbon, though) riff during the entire game. The football fans will know what's going on and the folks watching in bars won't care. Just quit trying to recreate what you once had, because it isn't working.

Are there really THAT many people who get THAT much out of Tirico telling you it's 2nd and 10 when there's a fucking graphic on the screen already telling you that?
Click to expand...

Once a week Fox Soccer Channel airs a Premiership match from SkySports with one diehard fan from each team as the announcer pair. It's absolutely fantastic. The commentary frequently dissolves into "Bloody hell! No! NOOO!!!"

They should try it out with the NFL. At least the NFL network could give it a shot.
Click to expand...

It certainly can't be worse than the Theesman-Kornheiser color combo.
Click to expand...

I think the idea might work best for hockey.....of the traditional "four major" sports, it has the smallest and most obsessive fan base. I'm not a huge hockey fan, but you can be guaranteed I would watch a Habs-Leafs game if the booth was an intelligent diehard fan from each team.

Ashy Larry · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

The Red Sox would be smart to have Dennis Leary and Lenny Clark join the booth more often.....baseball has a lot of down time, and can often use some comedy.

Chi City 81 · Oct 3, 2006

Re: SHUT UP KORNHEISER

Ashy Larry said:

The Red Sox would be smart to have Dennis Leary and Lenny Clark join the booth more often.....baseball has a lot of down time, and can often use some comedy.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but can you really trust them on an open mic for three or more hours? Does NESN use a time-delay?

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