Jared from Subway

Hoo boy (or girl)...

http://www.tmz.com/2015/08/18/jared-fogle-plea-deal-child-pornography-case/

 

New South Park episode coming up?

 

Nobody takes a plea in these cases unless the prosecution has enough evidence to bury their ass forever.

Jared is going away for a long long time.

 

From the Subway to under the bus.

 

Look on the bright side Jared. As much Subway as you've eaten, prison food won't seem too bad.

 

Here's how Jared's first day in prison will go:

It's a convicts first day in prison. He's a young convict and he's crying. An older convict comes over and sits down. He says look it's not so bad here. For instance, do you like movies? The new guy says, "Yeah I love movies." Every Monday we have movie night, first run movie.

Do you like Italian food? The new guy says, "Yeah I like Italian food." On Tuesday in the cafeteria, it is all Italian food.

Do you like baseball? The new guy says, "I love baseball." Every Wednesday we have a pick up game and everyone plays even the guards, it is really fun.

The old guy says, "One more question, are you by any chance a homosexual?" The new guy says, "no I'm not." Ah, you're not going to like Thursday.

(From Gilbert Gottfried, the former AFLAC duck guy)

 

Probably not the Jared everyone's talking about, Twitter:

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Don't worry, he'll be served a footlong on Day 1.

And then some.

 

Not a J-S writer, so it's worthless.

 

Reckon he'll be eating -- or schwetty -- fresh very soon.

 

Prison rape is always a hilarious topic.

 

Now you complain? This thread started with child pornography jokes, and you get your panties twisted about a couple of prison rape jokes?