I've said many stupid things before, but this.........

....takes the cupcake.

So, I'm broadcasting a HS double-header yesterday.......me and fellow broadcaster from another station are chatting before the game, and he was telling me how he was in alcohol-rehab previously, and yadda-yadda and knew a bunch of people where we were broadcasting from.

So, about 30 minutes later, about 4 minutes before I go on the air, I'm having technical problems to beat the band, and comes up and brings me the line-ups, so I look at him and say "Thanks man, I owe you a beer sometime!"

He looks at me and goes, "Aahh........don't sweat it man.......I don't drink anymore, though."

 

Relax. You're not even close to being the No. 1 doof.

About 8-10 years ago, a somewhat stocky woman I worked with told a couple of us in the office that she had suffered an early-term miscarriage about two weeks earlier.

About 10 days later, my absent-minded male co-worker, who was there for the original conversation, noticed that she looked a little bloated and asked her if she was pregnant.

 

Now, I don't feel so bad.

 

I once complimented a woman on her weight loss, only to be given a stony look and be informed curtly that she was pregnant. It was a very long two minutes before she ran out of reasons to illustrate, in her opinion, what kind of ass I was. After she stomped off, I turned around and there were about a half-dozen people staring, open-mouthed.

These days, I always ask around before mentioning weight loss to women.

 

One of my old Army buddies and I were chatting, when I asked how his wife was doing with the pregnancy. "Well, man. She had a miscarriage."

Not a month later, I asked how his wife was doing. "Well, man. She left me."

I shut the fuck up after that one.

 

Please, a little respect. For I am Costanza. Lord of the Idiots.

 

Oh god. I think I know of the "local broadcaster" of which you speak.

KBUF?

 

I never mention anything to do with weight to a woman. Not worth the headache.

Hair, I'll compliment hair, even clothes. But weight is off limits.

 

Weight and age, boys. 2 no win situations.

 

My buddy recently posted some photos of him and some friends out at a bar. He was cavorting with one of his female friends, nothing too racy, but the kind of photos a wife wouldn't be happy about if she didn't know the girl (his wife does know this particular girl).

So I posted in a joking manner, "Be careful your wife doesn't see those pics, man" fully assuming she had seen them, because otherwise he wouldn't put them on the internet.

Just got a text -- "I don't have a wife anymore. I moved out March 5, the final court date is in two weeks."

Ouch. And this is one of my very good friends. Hung out with him in April and had nary a clue they were getting a divorce.

 

Chef's comment was an "oops."

pressmurphy's was more of a genuine fuck up.

Then again, I know I have some classic gaffes in my past. At least I can remember explaining what the word "gaffe" means to one of my high school teachers. Back when I was in high school.

 

Many years ago I was doing a sidebar on the game between the local team and the Yankees. Jim Abbott pitched for the Yankees and got into some jams where great defensive plays bailed him out. After the game while interviewing Abbott, I prefaced a question with how he "got a hand" from his defense. He stuttered for a second before answering the question.