In-N-Out burger chain expands ...

I can't think of any fast-food burger better than In-and-Out. (Well, maybe White Castle.)

 

I like a couple Double-Doubles with fried onions, tomato, lots of ketchup, no sauce and no lettuce, a couple containers of milk. I don't think the fries are very good, but I order them anyway.

 

My new Five Guys go-to burger involves cheese, A1 sauce, fried mushrooms, fried onions, green peppers and jalapenos. Mercy lord, does it rule.

We have a Fatburger here, apparently at the request of Pharrell Williams. But I only found it a bit above average.

And Dairy Queens are only good in trade talks to balance out the salaries.

 

Man, you're good. Give me the hamburger chain version of Joe Morgan, Ed Armbrister, Jack Billingham, Cesar Geronimo, and Denis Menke for Lee May, Tommy Helms, and Jimmy Stewart.

 

Hmm ... that's two Farmer Boys and a Bob's Big Boy for three Baker's and an A&W.

 

That trade broke my elementary-school heart.

Now I know the week-long binge of comfort food that would have been appropriate. Thanks.

 

You can never go wrong with Bob's Big Boy.

 

I have had dreams about In-and-Out, and I've only eaten there once in my life. What I remember is a long-ass walk from Excalibur to In-and-Out in Vegas. In-and-Out was wall-to-wall people, and the food made me happy as a clam. I was not yet drunk that day, but I was pretty damn sweaty, that is for sure.

 

What exactly is Five Guys? I've noticed them starting to pop up around here.

 

Damn straight... Spaghetti and chili, mmmmm

Back to the hamburger discussion. In-n-Out double-doubles are the gold standard for fast-food hamburgers: fresh ingredients, good beef. Not to mention, you're supporting a chain that treats its employees with a modicum of respect in terms of pay and benefits.

Last night, I had the platinum standard of burgers -- Father's Office in Santa Monica.

This place is the definition of a hole-in-the-wall, with the atmosphere of a Hollywood nightclub, complete with guard and line outside the door. When you finally get in, you have to migrate to the bar, where an incredible beer selection awaits you.

Getting a table is as informal as it comes: you hover like a vulture and wait for one to open up. Last night, one of my co-workers saw people that went to school with his girlfriend, so we waited for them to finish. When we finally got our burgers, well, there's no way to describe how good they were; the juiciest and tastiest burger I ever had.

This place was popular a while back. Then, Los Angeles Magazine did a piece on it and it's eccentric owner and the place blew up.

The next time any of you are in the greater LA area in general or the Westside/Santa Monica in particular, you need a Father's Office burger.

 

Is Father's Office better than Apple Pan? The old counter guys there have been plopping down burgers and hustling you out the door forever.