I'm sad ...

... because there's not enough people on SJ right now who can figure out the difference between me posting with a buzz and me posting without one.

I got the rare chance to go out and have a few drinks after work. Just wondering how impaired I might be.

I know one thing, I asked some drunk respiratory nurse who was hitting on one of my co-workers (the nurse saw my wedding ring, pointed to herself and said, "Fuck you! You're out of this loop!") what the most important part of her job was and she said it was pulling the plug on dying patients. I said that had to be hard, and she kind of shrugged and said she "got the fuck out of the room" before the family started balling.

I told her it wouldn't be that fucking hard if she gave them an extension cord if they happened to change their minds.

Then her drunk friend literally smacked me in the back of the head.

Good times.

 

Don't be sad, Bubble man.

I'll go fetch us beers. You're not drunk enough.

 

I don't know, I mean, I just edited my original post. How effing drunk could I be?

Anyway, I had this thought pop into my mind today when I was reading the Whitlock thingee on the journalism board. I wonder what would happen if I applied for a column job as Bubbler instead of my actual identity?

It would have to be the right job, I mean, ain't no way the NYT is hiring someone who can turn an oral sex phrase at the drop of the hat. It would have to be something irreverent.

I could just send in a resume as Bubbler, list some links here to SJ, and if they were interested, they could PM me on the site to find out more.

That plan couldn't possibly fail.

 

I'm shitfaced, way.......wayyyyyy late for when I'd be home. But Bubbler, you writing here is great, and very "web" friendly........I don't take this the wrong way but like Bill Simmons.

 

I'd hire you, Bubbler.

If for nothing other than to entertain me.

 

Or 4) are Indians fans.

 

I'd totally kick Simmons' ass in a pop culture face off. All he has is Karate Kid and probably some dumb ass Fraggle Rock references in his wheelhouse, while I'd be slapping him around with a doozer's dick he'd be so overwhelmed with not only my references, but the knowledge behind them.

I mean, anyone can throw out a Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo reference, but was Simmons actually ever in a break dance, er, gang, like I was? Break yo-self, here come the B-Team Breakers! They're hyyyype! (scratch, scratch) Masters of the cardboard box! Worrrking the worrrrm! (but not the headspin because Boogaloo Shrimp broke his neck doing that shit).

Good Lord, I think I'm way fucking past being buzzed ...

 

1. I've never overachieved at a God damn thing.
2. I have faith out the fucking ying-yang.
3. I am a miserable person who is motivated to exist to make you miserable.

 

... Muslim-hating (kidding, kidding)

I'm not REALLY sad, just wish I got buzzed up sooner is all.

 

There is no reason to be sad about you returning to this site, babe. Indiansnetwork on the other hand . . .

And I'll cop to being drunk off. my ass right now

 

Awesome!

 

Hahaha. Nothing like drinking with a cute boy to get me liquored up!