"I'm canceling my subscription ... "

Caller: Why does Big Town High get three stories in the paper, and Small Town High only gets one?

Me: Because Small Town High only has boys and girls varsity soccer in the fall, and only the boys played yesterday. Big Town High had their boys soccer team play, their girls swim meet and a cross country meet. They have more teams than your school does.

Caller: Oh.

 

This stuff varies so much by area. I have the best relationship with our local private school.

The rich, snobby parents who are used to getting their way are the hockey parents.

 

Private schools don't have to be snobby. Lot's of Catholic schools are filled with middle class kids whose parents somehow scrimp and save to send them there.

And, of course, some are filled with kids whose parents make sacrifices to send them there so they won't be around "the wrong element."

 

Has nothing to do with the subject other than the crazy calls you get sometimes. Was working Sunday morning collecting football stats as coaches called in. Got an irate call from a guy asking why the Cowboys game wasn't on TV. "The game starts at noon! And it is noon now!" he hollers. Very calmly I ask "Sir, did you set your clock back last night?" He said he was sorry and hung up the phone.

 

Guy calls the desk this morning saying that he wants to "file a complaint" against a bar.

City editor: "What is the name of the bar?"

Guy: "Paddy's in Springfield."

City editor: "Um ... that really isn't in our coverage area, and we don't take complaints against businesses, but why would you want to do that?"

Guy: "Because they're dealing drugs out of there, and the owner is sleeping with the waitresses, and he's like 75."

City editor: "If they are dealing drugs out of the business, I suggest you call the police."

Guy: "OK."

 

I remember a group of parents canceling their subscriptions because they didn't appreciate the way their high school football team was represented in our annual preview. Our general manager made a note of every single person who cancelled their subscription. Within a week, all but one re-subscribed.

 

Today I had a call from a woman who was reporting results from an area baseball tournament.

Her: "Now, when will this be in?"
Me: "Tomorrow."
Her: "Well, I'll have to go out and buy a paper then."
Me: "You should be buying one every day."
Her: "Uh-huh." *click*

 

Former sports editor was always being accused by some in-town public school fans of favoring the in-town Catholic school, with them going so far as to say he favored the Catholic school because he graduated from it.
There was no favoritism, of course. Of our 14 high schools, the in-town public and two others were in the same league and the in-town Catholic and eight others in the same league at the time. What looked like more coverage for the Catholic school boiled down to more local teams playing each other and the Catholic school being better all-around in its sports at the time.
And the funny thing was, he actually graduated from, and lettered in two sports for, the in-town public school.

 

My favorite in the same vein is when we did a folo feature on two brothers who combined to set a couple of state records in a playoff game the previous week. Some mama called late at night complaining we had those kids' pictures in the paper all the time and why can't we have photos of other kids. All this time, I know our competitor up the road had a reporter out at the school that day and would be running a story similar to ours the next day. Turns out their picture of the kids was the same as ours, except our shooter had the players take their helmets off. All I could picture the rest of the night was complainy lady going outside to get the competition, pulling out the sports section and seeing their story, followed by major soiling of undies!

 

I just remembered this gem of a call that I received at home a few months ago:

Caller: Hi, would you like to buy a subscription to the Podunk Press?

Me: Nope, sorry, I'm not interested.

Caller: Wait. May we ask why you are not interested?

Me: Well, I have to save my money, I used to work for the Podunk Press, until corporate decided to lay me and a bunch of other people off.

Caller: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Goodbye.

Click.

 

I had a similar one that first moved into town:

Caller: Our records show you moved into town recently, can I interest you in a subscription to your hometown paper, NextBigTownOver Daily?

Me: I thought Podunk Daily was our hometown newspaper? It's right here.

Caller: NBTO Daily provides the best coverage in the area of Podunk.

Me: Well, I moved into town to work for Podunk Daily, so I'll see what I can do to change that.

(Jokes on me, they still do a better job covering our town)

 

Also off the subject. Was doing a playoff preview story on a boys basketball team. The coach asks me to get all the players names in the paper. This is a school I pretty much cover by phone so he gives me 12 or so names.

Couple of days later, the coach calls and said he made a mistake and left a couple of kids names out of the paper. Turns out the two kids walked into the coaches office handed him the paper with the story in it and then said they quit on the day before the playoffs started.

I felt really bad. Then the coach said "don't worry about, they never played and they weren't going to play in the playoffs anyway."

Funny thing was this coach became the head coach at one of the main schools I covered and he became and still is a great source for me even though he coaches golf now.