If you had a one-on-one with any political leader, right now, and.....

I'd ask Chuck Norris if he's really going to kick my ass.

 

Any Democrat: What would it take for you guys to be Democrats again?

 

I would love to see a burly lesbian socialist beat the living shit out of Chuck Norris.

 

I told you to come along to the auditorium that night, but would you listen?
No.

 

And all the harrum that e'er I've done, alas, it was ta none but me.

 

Did you see today his own son told him to stop killing civilians?
What is the over-under on him getting killed?

 

Sir/Ma'am,

Why must you lie?

Directed to (insert politician's name here).

 

and the colored girls say, "Doot, doo-doot, doo-doot.."

 

You can do what you want Chuck, but, uh, next time you see her comin'
You'd better run.

 

Where's Chuck want this killin' done?

 

To Bush:
"Something is happening and you don't know what it is. Do you, Mr. Jones?"

 

Jonesy's travelling with McCain.