If you don't have a sceen door, don't leave your balcony open.

So this Friday I wake up and open the bedroom door. I notice it is odd that the carpet under the door is frayed and seems to be coming up. I think to myself half-asleep that the same thing was happening to the carpet under my balcony door. In fact what was so weird is that about a half inch of molding at the bottom of my patio door was missing, So I go into the other bathroom because I have a barbell on the cold handle in the master bedroom because I am too cheap too call a plumber. Anyway |I look down and see a brown kind of thing on the carpet and think to myself WTF? Did |I have an accident? Then I look at the toilet and I see there is something in it. OK, I think, the sewer is backing up, not fun but we can deal. Look again, it is not a backed up turd it is a dead rat.

FREAKED OUT obv

 

mmm, Christmas breakfast...

 

I thought for sure this would be about Conor Clapton.

 

So what you do, after calling everyone you know and asking what do you do with a drowned rat in your toilet, is pick up the rat with a pair of plyers (his tail was twice as long as his body), put him in the trash bag along with the rugs he defiled. Go to WallMart the next day and buy new rugs.

 

Yeah I'm a bastard.

What picture? Don't tell me they ran a shot of the poor kid on the street.

 

Conor Clapton was a huge focal point for his daddy's career. He was the result of the long-delayed union of Clapton and his best friend's (ex-) wife, for whom Layla was basically a song whose point was "Hello wife of my best friend; I'd really like to nail you."

Then Conor is born during a time when Clapton has put out decades worth of bad pablum pop music. And he falls off the balcony. And daddy gets to write his other massive hit song, this time about the death of his son from that forbidden union.

Sorry. Just something I find fascinating, that Clapton's first major signature hit was about wanting to steal George Harrison's wife. Then when he finally hooks up with her, the resulting kid dies tragically. And Clapton gets another hit out of it.

 

The kid was not the result of the long-delayed union of Clapton and his best friend's (ex-) wife. While Clapton was married to Pattie Boyd, George Harrison's former wife, at the time of Conor's August 1986 birth, Boyd wasn't the mother. Italian actress Lori Del Santo was.

At the time of his death, Conor was in the custody of his mother in NY. (Clapton and Del Santo never wed.)

Also, the boy landed on the roof of an adjacent four-story building. Not the sidewalk.

 

No sir. I hate to be combative on Christmas eve. But that is most certainly what you do NOT do in that situation.

If you find yourself with a rat in your toilet...what you do...

is move out.

 

You're right. Brain fart on my part; I always forgot how many ladies Clapton was hanging with. Easy to get confused.

My points about his solo stuff being mostly pablum still stand.

 

Dead rat, you got me on my knees ... dead rat
I'm begging you please ... dead rat
Keep your friends out ... dead rat
or I'll have to move ... dead rat.

that would suck ... I hate rats.