Ickiest. Story. Ever.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=2604874

I'll return to see what everyone thinks about this in a few hours after I've boiled my sheets and hermetically sealed my windows.

 

Great. Now I'm gonna be afraid to fall asleep -- and I already started thinking about that scene in Star Trek.

And my ear itches.

 

And after the beetle crawls in your ear, you can let the dust mites on your sheets and pillows eat your dead skin. Have a good night.

 

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

 

And if you fall asleep....

 

Holy shit, the pup and I are watching him right now.

 

Which one?

 

Freddy vs. Jason

 

I met Jena in Charlotte. Didn't realize she was at ESPN.com. I had a bug fly in my ear when I was in middle school. Not fun, and I didn't even get a national story out of it.

 

I have nightmares about stuff like this.

Bugs ... and a weird one about waking up with honeycomb, like the stuff bees make, on my eyes. Yes, I had a lot of eye problems as a kid.

 

Bug aside, gotta love the kid providing the picture of the dead bug next to a pen to get a sense of its size.

We should make him an SportsJournalists.com athelte of the week for his contributions to sports journalism.

 

Screw that. I picked him up in my fantasy league after his 362-yard, 5-TD performance, but he only gained 89 yards the next week and I lose the fucking game.