1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

I need to get my 800 trash bags!

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by MartinEnigmatica, Feb 22, 2007.

  1. MartinEnigmatica

    MartinEnigmatica Active Member

    This morning I went to Sam's Club, forgetting in the process that it probably wouldn't open until 10. I arrived a shade under that hour, to crowd of about two dozen shoppers, all mulling about calmly, most of whom carried an AARP membership card in their wallets. I live in a pretty aging area, but for some reason this cracked me up.

    I think the best was when the guy inside came to open the door. Their hopes and dreams, about to be realized, lifted the pounds of wrinkled facial flesh into smiles of anticipation. The sliding doors opened, sensing the arthritic movement of old bones stale with tacky marrow. Those bones carried the bodies into motion, into the rush for bulk food, clothing, and health supplies. Yet, all their motivation couldn't make it a true retail swarm, like Black Friday madness. It was the slowest pursuit I've ever seen, more a shuffling than anything else, a group of tortoises without a hare.
  2. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    My cat's breath smells like cat food.
  3. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

    Ya know .... a little underrated.

    If this had a Bubbler byline, we'd be doing cartwheels.

    Just saying.
  4. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    Nope. Bubbler brings something to the table, like pop culture references or some 1780s painter.

    This is "Wow, there's old people that shop at warehouses."

  5. Blitz

    Blitz Active Member

    The board can get awful snide at times, this is par for the course.
    Par de course, as it was described to a colleague once.
    One day you'll be old, too, enigmatica, grasping for your own raison d'etre.
  6. MartinEnigmatica

    MartinEnigmatica Active Member

    Hey, this wasn't supposed to be poignant or some big revelation. It just cracked me up, and I actually stood there laughing out loud at the sight of it.
  7. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    No, I have no beef with the post. I just said it was a different style than Bubbler.

    Hell, I've posted more stupid shit than anyone else on here (save maybe deep_background). Far be it for me to judge. I was just responding to the point above mine.
  8. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    I liked the post...
    But I go to Costco, where I fit in the right age demographic but don't really have enough zeroes in mhy annual gross income to shop...
  9. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member


    Bubbler had not one but TWO classic Wal-Mart posts.
  10. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    Yes. Including the aspects I mentioned. It's not like Bubbler said "Wow, Wal-Mart is weird" and left it at that.

    It's all in the delivery.
  11. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    MartinEnema's main problem is that Wal-Mart is funny. It's comedy gold.

    Sam's Club, ehh. Not so much.
  12. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Absolutely right, and that's what was missing in this story. Old people, creaking bones, Sam's Club. Maybe there's a funny joke in there but it's not emerging.

    Like the comedian who asked, "What's the deal with toilet seats?"
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page