I need help

While this could describe a lot of subjects -- many of whom will undoubtedly be listed here -- anyone want to come over and lay down sod?

Cold beer! Hoops! Grass!

 

Yes, yes you do.

And I'd help if I lived anywhere close to Dumas.

 

You can afford sod?

 

What kind of grass?

 

Seven leaves. Jagged edges.

 

You lay sod. You lay down. Remember to stagger the runs. Don't have seams between runs meet. Put down some sod starter fertilizler before you lay it. Rent a roller to get a good bond with the soil. Don't let it completely dry out for the first couple of weeks, but don't water it into a swamp. Drink beer.

 

Bought 12 pieces of sod, emerald zoysia if you must, with the goal of cutting them into 3x3 pieces, then cutting same size piece out of ground.
This works in theory, since zoysia will grow like a weed if properly maintained. But I dont live in Theory; I live in Alabama, where hard red clay abounds...
Did three full pieces of sod and said "time for basketball."

 

You know what? I actually would help you. I like landscaping work for some reason, except for raking, which I despise.

 

Make sure to let Dale Gribble do the extreminating, or else he'll put red ant queens in your yard.

 

I have beer...

 

I've quit drinking. I'd do it just to get outside.

 

This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.