I just ate White Castle....

21 playing Battleshits?

 

which begs the question: how has "wc" survived all this time? ??? ??? ???

 

Just to be clear: this was not the issue. Maybe because I only ate three.

This was just about pain. Sizzling fiery oozing pain, between my left ventricle and right ovary. Thinking it was a bacterial infestation, I chased it with Boom's scotch, not realizing these were apparently Scottish bacteria, who (which?) immediately multiplied and launched a full-scale revival of Jesus Christ Superstar in my small intestine.

I'm now thinking butter was somehow to blame.

Maybe if there had been some bathroom involvement, the whole thing might have ended a lot faster. Instead, I am nibbling dry Cheerios and wondering how to initiate legislation against negligent public distribution of concealed butter.

 

They're fine. She's just being fussy.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harold: I want that.
Kumar: What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?
Harold: No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!
Kumar: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Harold: We gotta go to White Castle.
Kumar: YES! YES! I knew you had it in you dude!

 

21, just be glad your experience didn't end like this HOFer's:

"As I came out of my medicine induced sleep I noticed the doctor and nurse were laughing. They immediately asked me what a White Castle is."

 

Reason 2,175 to move to Canuckistan.

No White Castle!

 

The Krystals bread is a bit fluffier, but the patty is not as moist. But they have mustard on 'em. Yum.

 

The spacebabe says chug a fifth of pepto.

 

There is seriously something wrong with me.

Boom on the road today, so I went out with a girlfriend who coerced me into two margaritas, one Effin Black Cherry (vodka), and a shot of Baileys. I think the White Castle bacteria colony is absorbing the alcohol, I'm not remotely drunk.

 

Obviously some people:

a) can eat them without adverse effects;

b) don't mind spending most of the next day on the toilet after eating 'em.


But it ain't me, babe, no no no, it ain't me, babe ...

 

21, there are much less painful ways to prove you're not a princess. Really good ham biscuits are delicious and will horrify both your dietician and your rabbi. Come visit dixiejewsSportsJournalists.com and we'll hook you up.