I have to cover the state swim meet this week...

...my question is this: Do I slide the razor UP the arm or ACROSS?

 

Good thing you're going in with an open mind about this. :

 

Either will do.

E-mail from a parent this week wanting us to go to the state meet to cover our local swimmers. Wants a preview story and, of course, a team photo. He'll get the preview story _ sorry, no team photo.

Individual who is going might finish in the top 10. Relay teams that have qualified are ranked either last, or next-to-last.

 

I covered conference last week. Once the story is written, I don't mind it. The drama of the event overall can be interesting. But sitting in that heavy, chlorine-ridden air for six hours, surrounded by screaming parents, watching people swim doesn't rank real high on my list of fun ways to kill a Friday. I like my coaches, I like the swimmers, and I do my best to ensure they get good coverage, but SWEET JEBUS, it's boring...

 

The one thing that makes it interesting is the fact I've got a sophomore that I cover who is a legitimate Olympics contender. It's absurd watching her compete. She'll swim a 50-yard event and beat the field by five seconds. Plus, swim parents are a special kind of insane, because they want their kids covered as much as the basketball teams. I hate to tell them, but it ain't going to happen. Just like the cross-country parents who don't understand why the CC district races didn't get the same coverage as rivalry week in high school football. Hell, I ran CC in high school and I can't justify giving the coverage they want...

 

Ha, very true, it is VERY boring to watch. You could actually fall asleep during the event and still get a very good story.

I used to be in a state swimming powerhouse area (many consecutive state titles), so that made it a little easier to cover too.

It can be warm, but depending where the state finals are, it may not be too overbearing. The state meets I covered were at Division I college facilities, which helped some.

 

Just figure out the races you want to watch, bring a magazine for the 500 (or do your interviews then) and take a walk outside.

 

I don't know about you guys, but where I'm at it is a fucking cult following. The damn swimmers and parents expect us to drop what we are doing and hit up their weekly YMCA swim meets, their summer meets, high school meets and yes, the state tournament. I once got blasted by a parent because I did not attend the YMCA Nationals at the University of Maryland.
Fun?
Hardly!

 

The hotel I was staying at in Minneapolis last week had all of the teams for the Big Ten women's swim meet staying there.

As I was leaving the next morning, the hallway was jammed with parents cheering every team as they got off the elevator. Which, I suppose, is fine, except they were holding up streamers to create some sort of tunnel to walk through.

One parent told me I couldn't walk through, that I had to go around the other side of the building to get to the parking lot because the hallway was "for the swimmers.". I told her it was 11-below outside, and I wasn't going to walk any farther than I had to. I think the "fuck you" look I gave her when I said that ended the conversation.

 

ya know, i know you're goofing around, but honestly I don't get this attitude

a lot of people would love to have your job

go to the thing, deal with it, and write something good

 

Across. No need to kill yourself. Just draw attention to the fact that having to cover swimming live really sucks.

 

Large swim meets with teams tend to be like Woodstocks, athletic festivals. Everyone only competes a couple times for a total of several minutes, unless they're one of those swimmers that does the 1650...in which case they're in the water all day long. But the rest of the time is spent doing these incomprehensible cheers, odd shows of spirit, and you swear everyone is on something psychedelic from the athletes to the parents.