I got my own college radio show...

I had 3 a.m. to 7 a.m. Monday mornings a lifetime ago.

Laughable... but still a fun experience.

 

I had a stringer once do a radio show in a previous life of his and he said ladies would call him late at night just to talk.

Any truth to that?

 

I did one a few years ago. It was awesome. I was well out of college, but a friend was finishing up in school and asked me to come on with him. There were three of us. We meshed really well on air because we hung out together all the time. It was like we were just BSing with each other in front of microphones.

But we did put time into preparation. We wanted it to be a real radio show. Don't underestimate how much effort you should put into prep, even just for a couple-hour-a-week show. We were on three hours a week. That's a lot of time to fill, especially for someone inexperienced.

First, we chose the musical format we wanted. At that station you could play whatever format you wanted. And ours kind of evolved as we went on. We focused on alternative and power pop with a local and regional emphasis. So we were able to scout out music we wanted to feature and pick tunes ahead of time while also leaving time for requests or "ad-lib" decisions.

Now, we wanted to talk and be funny in between songs as well. You can get tiresome to the listener right quick doing this. Be careful about going on and on between songs. Don't fall in love with the sound of your voice. Have something to say. We planned a few weekly features, most of which I actually wrote up ahead of time and practiced reading before we did them

There was my weekly Sports Sermon, which was about a 60-second (hopefully) comical rant about the world of sports. (The first time I did it, it was live and I didn't mess up a word. I amazed myself.) 60 seconds is a long time to filibuster on the air, especially if what you wrote is not good. I tried not to go too much longer than that, but at the same time you don't want to have to talk so fast no one can understand you.

Other skits were New You Cannot Use, where I found three or four weird news stories and me and one of the other guys bounced back and forth reading them like an actual news broadcast with the precursor that if anyone listening ever tried to use any of those news stories in an actual social context, they would fail miserably. This turned into one of our best contests ever when there was a dog with a pickled pig's feet jar wandering around some small southern town for a week. We told the news story then asked if listeners could guess which state it happened in. Winner got some sweet concert tix; phone lines were jammed up -- it took 13 people before someone won.

Then we did little parodies of real radio -- the Saturday School Closing List, the Campus Traffic Report (very popular on move-in day), and a couple other things like that. We would bring in local musicians and interview them. One recurring skit was 10 Questions, where I would come up with questions our guest, some personal, but then tell them if they were right or wrong based on the answer that I came up with ahead of time.

It was loads of fun. I'd do it again in two seconds, but we now all have real jobs and it's tough to make that commitment. You'll be nervous on the air at first and if you start talking too long you'll start thinking that you're talking too long and you'll stop thinking about what you're going to say. Just don't panic if this happens.

Have fun, it will be a blast!

 

Phone... silence

 

So, any thought to what your first song's gonna be?

I vote Pussy Control.

 

So you're NOT moving to Florida?

 

It seems like everyone who wanted to do college radio always began covering soccer. I was stuck up in the visiting press box of our football stadium, using binoculars to differentiate between numbers while calling a soccer game. The press box at my college's football stadium, well, let's say, Paris Hilton's box would have been less dirty and dangerous.

 

Got any tech questions, PM me. And welcome to the world of radio.

 

You want to know why that is? Because none of the veterans want to broadcast soccer games. We used soccer and field hockey games to train our young broadcasters -- partly because it eliminated the need for a second experienced body and fewer people would be listening to that than a football or basketball game. If you fuck up a little bit on the field hockey game, who the fuck is going know?

 

I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, Stone, but I'm not against a variety show playing classic rock and hip-hop. I just think transitioning from the two genres -- or any two extremely different genres -- isn't a pleasant experience. I once had a DJ go from System of a Down to Justin Timberlake and my ears nearly performed a coup de ta on her fucking soul.

College radio is about expressing yourself, your musical tastes, your thoughts, all while having fun. I just don't think it's all that appealing to make those drastic jumps. Mixing in a liner or two softens the blow pretty well.

 

Agreed. When I was a senior, we went our freshman to do those games and several actually liked it. I did hockey as a freshman and decided never again, because it was way too fast and my broadcast partner smelled like cabbage.

It gave me good experience during fast breaks in basketball though. I gave up the broadcasting for print and well, I am happy thus far.

I have done some radio work at my new job, at halftime with visiting radio.