I f-ed up big time, aka FML

Great thread... Buck and Ace at their finest.

It's like old times around here <sniffle>

 

When they ask you what your strengths are, make sure to include, putting whiskey on your penis to cover up the peanut butter smell.

 

"I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts. It wasn't my fault!! I swear to God!!"

 

Night before the interview, maybe you could lay off the hootch for a change?

 

Nah, Buck. The bosses want to see Rusty in his normal state -- sleepy and pickled.

 

Hey, I tied one on the morning before my last job interview. I actually had two interviews that day. But the alcohol wasn't the problem. It was the corned beef sandwich I ate at 3 a.m. that did me in.

But hey, I got the job!

 

So where do you see yourself in five years?

Don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife...

Doing your, uh, son?

 

Let's not be ridiculous here. It's only a job.