I defy any man not to stare. ... and assorted other NYC subway musings

My best subway story actually came on the BART in San Francisco. It's late at night, and there are only three people in the car. Me, another normal dude and a black guy who later turns out to be gay, aggressive and crazy.

At first, he's in the back of the car, preaching to nobody at the top of his lungs: "And Jesus was a black man! A black man! He didn't have loaves and fishes. He had chicken and corn bread!"

This was amusing.

Moments after the sermon ends, Rev. Psycho gets up, walks up the train, and sits in the booth in front of the other guy in the car. The Rev. spins around, so now he is facing Other Guy, stares directly at Other Guy's crotch as says, "I'm going home with some white cock tonight."

Needless to say, two of us got off at the next stop.

(And no, it wasn't me and the Reverend).

 

How could you not just stare at people on the 7-train in New York?

I mean, last time I was there, it seemed like I was riding through Beirut and I was sitting next to some kid with purple hair and some queer with AIDS and some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time and right next to some 20-year old mom with four kids. It was depressing........

 

I laughed.

 

Okay, how's this for awkward: Couple of weekends ago, I sat behind a well-blessed woman wearing a sun dress. Enough side-boob that I couldn't help but check it out time and time again. Didn't hurt that she was pretty, too.

And, oh yeah, this wasn't on a subway. It was in church. Yep, takin' the hell express.

 

Just s-s-s-s-s-s-sideal nudity

 

Praise God! But really, some of the best girl-watching took place in church. Why I don't go to church anymore, I dunno

 

Would 'motor-boating' be hyphenated there?

 

Yes....compound adjective, the first word of which does not end in "ly."

 

as in "Double J is a post-padding mofo."

 

And you know that Catholic girls are just chomping at the bit to have something, anything, to make their next confession worthwhile. ;D

 

Or, Double J, like dools, is a mo-foing post padder. ;D