HS baseball coaches and their need to reiterate their ignorance

OK, so, help me out here.

I'm interviewing Coach Jockstrap last night after the game between the Local Nine and His Team. His Team beat the Local Nine thanks to the work of a lefthanded reliever who immediately stopped what was looking like a very big inning in the fifth, and then shut down the Local Nine's order the rest of the way with a harder fastball and a good little curve. So after the game, I ask him (basically), "what kind of an effect did Lefty Lefterson have for you guys?" And he immediately goes into the good ol', "Well, you'll have to ask their hitters. I'm a baseball coach, not a rocket scientist" bullshit. Maybe it's just me, but all I could think was, "yes, and I just asked you a baseball question. Where's the science, exactly?"

Am I wrong here? Anyone have coaches pull this crap too?

 

He was being a dick, but then again, not completely out of whack. I've had coaches understandably tell me "How do I know how they were affected? You'll have to ask them." They kind of have a point. I often hear college writers ask a coach how their players respond to their system, and the coaches legitimately say you'd have to ask them. It's all in how you phrase the question with some guys.

So, you try again.

"OK, coach. You obviously had him in the game for a reason. What does he do that enabled him to stop the bleeding? What makes him the right guy instead of someone else?"

Even if he gives you another smart ass answer, you will probably get a pretty good quote.

"Well, he gets people out. You saw it, right?"

"It's called throwing strikes and throwing them hard."

"All I know is, when he pitches, we win."

"Ask their guys. They're the ones who couldn't hit him."

 

I would quote him on the first part, too. The rocket scientist stuff. I think that's quote-worthy.

 

I usually quote the smart-ass remarks as well. Some can be quite telling and reveal character and attitude. That's a hell of a lot better than coach-speak.

 

Half the HS coaches I know don't even keep stats.

 

or the 3rd baseman's girlfriend keeps them, which explains him going 3 for 4 when you know one of those times was an error and another a fielder's choice.

 

Hey, screw you, man. It's not my, I mean, his fault the other team's shortstop couldn't handle that ball I, I mean he, hit really hard into the hole. Besides, I, I mean, he would have beaten a good throw anyway.

 

Oh, they all keep a box score and count pitches or even chart them. But hardly any of them compile season stats. If a guy hits the ball well in BP, he's going to play that day. I haven't even approached any of them about OPS or Runs Created.