How lazy are you?

Monday through Thursday, I pick up my daughter from preschool around noon. Every day in the parking lot (regardless of weather) the same three people take their minivans or high-priced SUVs and park ... in handicap spaces.

One lady who does this leaves her two kids (can't be older than 3) and stands inside while watching her kids through the window ... a good 50 feet away. She laughed one day about parking there, saying "Well, if nobody else is using them I guess I will."

Is this an acceptable practice? Surely this lady is just plain fucking lazy, right?

 

My wife would take pictures of the cars and give the pictures to the police.

I'm too lazy too care about the lazy fucks in the handicap space.

 

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.

I'm an asshole.

 

True stories: Bar owner buddy of mine and his wife are known for being lazy. They go to bed one night and, being lazy, they have their lights set on the Clapper. Diane turns to John and says "Turn out the lights." John says "It's your turn to clap."

Diane tells John he has to cut the grass. John, being lazy, would rather pay someone to cut it. So while she's out for the day, he has someone come over and cut it. She comes home a short time later and he sprinkles water on his forehead to look like he's sweating. She kisses him when she gets home, stops, and says "You lazy ass! That's not sweat, that's just water. You didn't cut shit."
Next time he has to cut the grass, he mixes salt with water so he's not busted.

 

You know you really are an asshole! Shut up and sing the song.

 

I can have my lazy moments... and I would never park in a blue space.

 

A! ESS ESS! H O L EEE EVERYBODY!!!!

 

We know that. Why are you yelling?

 

One of my favorite, favorite songs of all-time. Better than anything ever released by Britney or Christina.

 

speaking as one of the handicapped among us, those who park in handicapped spaces unjustly are below scum.

when i catch one in the act, i rip 'em a new one and warn that the next time i won't be so nice.

that is all.

 

Oh, you don't want to know ...

- I've been in my apartment for seven weeks and haven't called the waste company. My trash -- in a can, of course -- is just sitting outside in the cold of winter.

- I had a P.O. Box and didn't check my mail for two months (seriously). I knew I didn't have the money to pay the bills that were coming in.

- My car last had an oil change 5,500 miles ago.

- Sometimes I have days off and don't have any plans. Why shower?

- A relative called to wish me a happy birthday, but I forgot to call him back. We haven't spoken in two years. Obviously, I'm not proud of this.

And the kicker ...

- I once racked up an overdue fee of $75. The library was across the street from the office.

Yeah, I'm one helluva catch.

 

On behalf of my paraplegic wife, I say fuck these people. In the ass. Then in the ear. With a John Holmes-sized, razor-studded dong.
Asked the wife how she reacts. She said she's pretty understanding, unless it's raining. Then she wishes the wrath of god on these dicksnorts. And, if they're parked too close to the wheelchair ramp, she'll just make her way up as best she can -- and if she scratches their car with her chair in the process, that's just too bad.

When I'm with her, though, my car doesn't have a handicapped sticker or tag. So I'll park wherever and push her around. Way we figure it, my legs ain't broke and she doesn't have to walk anyway.