How do you "live your life" while working nights?

You got that right.

 

Ya, mizzou, things will not be so easy as he grows older. But for now, the desk shift is actually the best one. There's always going to be some sacrifice getting in the way, so I try to spend whatever time I have with the boy. I can't imagine sleeping when I could be with him.

 

I was recently approached about a great gig on a daily TV show that was going to pay pretty well...but my call time would have been 3 a.m., and it was an hour's drive away, even at 3 a.m.

I tried my damnedest to figure out a way to make it work, but I eventually just had to tell them no. And I don't have kids, and I'm a "morning person" to boot. But it would just be too disruptive to work those kind of hours.

 

bookmark.

 

I work the overnights at a television station: 10:00am to 6:00am and it's hard. I've been doing it for about five years now, but now that I'm engaged it's time to look for something more normal. I can deal with the sleep, but constantly rearranging my life around work is getting tough. I'd really like to enjoy a Sunday with the family without having to worry about rushing home for a nap before work. I do get a premium per hour for working those overnight hours, but the lifestyle impact just isn't worth it anymore.

 

I was OK with working nights, and then I turned around and it's been 30 years. All the fun is gone from newsrooms now, and the pensions look like shit, too. It's been a great ride in some ways, but the sacrifices were huge.

I'm getting out next month, and my life is for me now.

 

I find that one of the most difficult sacrifices is the lack of time to make friends.

Any spare time I have goes toward my family. And when the rest of the world is getting together and doing fun stuff or activities with their friends, I'm at work. I'd like to join an adult softball league, or a volleyball league, or go out for drinks with people once in a while. Except, those things aren't offered during the daytime.

I'll admit, sometimes, it is fun to be out and about in town during the daytime. Only problem is, I'm doing it alone, because everyone else is at work.

 

It's not that bad, really.

You make time at the sacrifice of sleep.

 

She had green eyes and brown hair and a wide smile. We had a mutual acquaintance and a few chance encounters. Then we had two dates. We mostly talked, ate, danced a little. We liked each other, but we barely knew one another.

She worked days; I worked nights. That was enough, for her. We've seen each other once since, pretending everything was amicable despite the obvious lingering questions. It would be easy for me to say I didn't like her much anyway. I barely knew her. But I liked what I knew.

I don't dream about her. She's not the one that got away. She's a symbol of my life in its current status: stasis. The night shift's not the only reason. The curmudgeon in me creeps up too often, as does the fear of failure. But the night shift makes a convenient excuse.

It's not easy being single these days on this shift. My friends are dating, engaging, marrying, having children. They'd love to hang out more, but I'm only available two nights a week. Those two nights never are both weekends, so there's the guessing game: Will my friends already have better plans for that Friday when my boss makes the next schedule?

You eat a lot of meals alone as a single man working the day shift. "Party of one" serves as a leitmotif in your story. You shop for groceries at 2 a.m., with half the store closed off for mopping and general emptiness throughout. The baked goods are stale; the produce is pillaged.

My coworkers mostly are married, have families. They like the night shift because, during summers, they can see their children all day. It's not ideal; many don't see much of their spouses. But for the ones with little kids, it saves money on child care. One turned down a promotion that would have shifted his hours from 5-1 to 11-9 because it would have destroyed his family life.

Families have to see you. Families want to see you. Families make time for you, make schedules around you. Friends and dates don't. Friends and dates can find other things to do rather than wait for you to have a convenient night off.

None of this is to say I'm unhappy with my job. But the night shift is a bear, and it becomes you if you allow.

 

Well said, especially with regards to dating.

I think I spent many years just not trying, and assuming that my schedule would be too much of an issue. Eventually I made it a commitment. I got used to going on dates, then heading into work after. It wasn't ideal, but I felt like I was making an effort, and eventually I met my fiancee. We make our schedule work. She's a teacher, so I'm usually able to wake up and see her in the afternoons after she returns from work. But, at the same time we both agree that spending nights apart is incredibly hard. And, neither of us wants to raise kids while I'm working the overnight schedule.

 

I worked nights for five years, constantly missing out on things I wanted to do. I really, really wanted to find a softball league to join. Then I finally got day shifts, but I blew two discs in my back. I couldn't play if I wanted to. So I still missed out.

I have no idea what I'm trying to say other than if you don't like your life, try to change it. It won't be easy and it won't happen overnight, but don't just sit there and let a job dictate your life. Time's gonna pass too quickly and you'll just be left more miserable in the long run if you don't do the things that will make you happy.

 

I have no doubts that both of you are awesome parents and if you think I was implying otherwise, I certainly wasn't...